As if you have a choice.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Am i the only one that feels sad when i lose someone dear to me?

How weird i couldn't hold back my tears even in work. It hurt so badly at the moment. He left. He's gone and he isn't turning back anytime, he doesn't miss me, he won't miss me, its like nothing was there in the first place.. How i wish i didn't get angry so fast? How i wish i would have appreciate the things he has done for me.. Its always my fault when something goes wrong.. always.. and what can i do? practically nothing..

.FRIENDS.

were they there just to see you happy or there just because they had no one else beside them and they wanted someone there to make themselves feel better. Why do i feel like im losing all my friends.. Every each one of them. Its my fault for sounding out what i feel inside my heart. When school finishes, you somhow lose all your friends. When work starts, you have a new group of friends, and when work is done, they are gone. When college starts, its like school all over again, mix with the wrong people and your life goes upside down. So where am i? Im just the girl that cries at night and no one knows.. Was always known as that gurl..

Anyways, enough of the emo status. Boyfriend having finals now, so can't really disturb him.. hee hee. I miss my pet brother but its okay, i'll hide it inside, i miss my lesbian partner, but somehow i dont really want to meet her, i miss my dad but i dont want to go to china to see him, i miss my single life, but i hated being alone and having no one to text, although i had a whole lot of freedom and fun, i had no discipline, i did whatever i wanted to do and i didn't stop at all, that was just truly bad and the wild side of me that i never wanted anyone to see.

Oh oh,

Went to sunburst yesterday. total last minute shit, like at 4 pm only i got tickets, stupid boyfriend practically jumping up and down just because we were going. we got to see

.Nidji.

*i LOVE him. I truly love him. i love his voice. One of his best songs that i enjoyed*

Salahkah aku

Mencintaimu

Memilikimu

Menyayangimu
Jangan paksakan kita untuk

slalu bersama

Jangan paksakan kita untuk

Slalu mencinta

Pharell as usually fucking sexy and hot. My god, he called like 40 girls up to stage, my friends were up there, friends called me too, but i lazy want to panjat the fence so yeah, sorry pharell, it was worthed standing infront for half an hour and waiting for argriculture to finish their performance. Although got pushed out like 20 minutes into nerd performances but no problem, can still see pharell, that was the best, didn't get any pictures cause too lazy to take out my phone, hee hee. oh well, next year hundred percent going too! Speedzone anyone?

so, im off to china soon, so gonna stop working already. College? no time to think now..

pheww. by the way, changing my url blog soon when i get a better name then *pornwanabe*. thanks eshia, thanks ALLLLOOT!! lol.. So yeah, when i do change it'll be private forever, i'll text the people that i would allow to read. love ya'll forever. would blog again soon. i think.

-fallen angel-

♥ 12:28 AM

Sunday, March 15, 2009

So, im here.

Nothing much to write about. Just been working day in and out. Exhausted. I hate fuckson (parkson) rules. Thats what my supervisor calls it. He's cool. I dont like her. She's a bitch. Oh well, somehow everyone is a bitch. So everyone got their results back. Im not really happy with what i had but i am shocked that i got those kind of results. but as usual, i was the odd one out of the bunch who was carrying a whole lot of a's. PMR i had to go through it. SPM too. its okay, im proud of them as they are proud of me.

My Mum : Give me a hug, im so proud of you.

Me: Do you even know what i got?

My mum : Nope, but at least you went through SPM and sat through all the papers.

Me: Then why didn't you hug me after spm papers?

My Mum : Not exciting enough..

Me: bluurrr.....

On the Phone.. A day Later...

My dad : So baby, what happen? how many e's for excellence?

Me : Daddddd, dont be so mean!

My dad : Im sorry, so what you got? My bank book is ready..

Me : (my results)

My dad : Are you sure you tried your very best?

Me: yes daddy, i did, those results are good because i studied last minute..

My dad : okay, im proud of you that you tried your best, my little baby

Me: Money? =)

My dad : you think im your atm machine, i'll think about it, maybe the phone you always wanted when we go to singapore..

DAMN!!
I was thinking, how if i were to get 11 a's like my bestfriend, i think i would have gotten a house.
Lol. Nevermind, my parents. as usual, never push me through anything, they would always be there as long as im not doing anything illegal. I love them both. Truly, im lucky to have them..

"Halo - Beyonce."

My new favourite song. Listen to it. Its cool.

And to you, i never thought you can just walk away and leave and not say anything, you're not the same as before, and dont try making excuses, i ain't gonna listen to it anymore, you know sometimes i feel sad for what has happen, but at least i still did care as much as i could and you?
Nothing. Shove your songs back up your ass, i won't accept bullshit

-fallen angel-

♥ 9:55 PM

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I tried to make you happy

I did all that I could

Just to keep you

But you left anyway

How long will I be waiting?

Until the end of time

I don't know why I'm still waitingI

can't make you mine

its sweet. thanks you, i appreciate it..

now, last week was my anniversary. how sweet right? okay, okay. haven't been the best girlfriend ever but hey, everyone makes mistakes.. i still havenn't learn from them but im trying my best. we didnt have the best anniversar ever cause i fell asleep, after work, tired as hell. but he was sweet enuf to wake me up at 12 sharp to wish me.. one year, we lasted here, and noting is going to go wrong. i have been selfish and foolish, but i learn. and i learn that i can never love anyone else as much as i love you. always would be my no one baby.

"Thanks for loving me again and again, and bagi i banyak chance to show you how much i dah tukar, and sabar ngan perangai i, i love you more then everything in this world, i letak baby first in my heart, hope b can understand why im controlling, its because i love you and taknak lose b dah. i sayang b banyak2 taw.. Goodnite sayang n happy one year anniversary for us, i nak kira improve our relationship sebab i tak nak kita bazir jee. - asyraf a.k.a jack ur beloved boyfriend 4eva-"

thanks baby..

-fallen angel-

♥ 1:03 AM