As if you have a choice.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Sometimes you might feel as though you wanna lock yourself in the room. Don't go anywhere. Just stay at home, watch the sun set, watch the sun rise, hear the raindrops, listen to songs and just relaxx. Sometimes you feel "how the hell my life end up at where it is now, it was so perfect before this?". Or " Why does teenage life have to be so hard? I wish i was just a small baby girl where my parents would do everything for me, this time i do it for myself". Im tired. Im really tired of the world. Yes im seventeen and im already tired. Just think if im 70, i think i would be rotten in my house with 30 cats. That's always my dream.

miss being in sri petaling again. Everything seems to right there, nothing really went wrong. Friends there by my side, not all the time. But when i needed them the most, i was sometimes the outcast but i made myself that way. Everything seemed so easy before. Go to school, come back, dance lessons, hang out at someone's house, go to the playground, swim in the evening, go home, online and then sleep. Seems easy huh? Yeah it was. I had everything i really wanted. Sometimes i still do feel as though i wanna throw everything and just move back there. But i can't. I made this life of mine, might as well live it. Just wanna say i really miss you guys, and i can't wait for Suet's Ling birthday party. Im sure as hell gonna be there.

Im tired of you. I seriously am. First you say you still love your ex. I let you with no hurt, no tears and nothing else. Second time you say you cannot love me because im too hard to be with. Again i let you, hurt abit, tears was there of course. But i landed quite okay. 2 weeks later, you say you never realize what you had till it was gone. I gave it another chance again, one day after our 4th month anniversary you give up on us and said you cannot do this anymore. I let you go again. My heart was hurting as much as a knife slashing through my legs. But i left it at where it was. Just left it there. Just didn't bother, and just walk ahead through life. 1 Week later, we're back on the track again and i never notice where it was really going. 5 months coming through, one day before our ANNI, you said you're not sure what you really want. You're not sure whether i am the one for you. I asked you over&over again, what do you really want? And you didn't say me. You didn't say anyone else. But you mentioned you're first love. Alright i accept it, i dont mind bcause im not over mine too. But i still love you from the bottom of my heart. Again, i let you go without thinking of doing something stupid. Just told myself that "everything happens for a reason". 4 days go past and now you're giving me a song "Fall for you - secondhand serenade".

Please stop all the nonsense if you're just gonna play me for the 5th time.

Im tired of being you're dog or whatever it is.

Im just so fucking tired already.

- Fallen Angel-

♥ 7:45 PM

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

What is depression?
Teenage depression isn’t just bad moods and occasional melancholy. Depression is a serious problem that impacts every aspect of a teen’s life. Left untreated, teen depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug abuse, self-loathing—even irreversible tragedy such as homicidal violence or suicide.

Signs of depression for a teen:
Sadness or hopelessness
Irritability, anger, or hostility
Tearfulness or frequent crying
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in activities
Changes in eating and sleeping habits

Because of the very real danger of suicide, teenagers who are depressed should be watched closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior. The warning signs include:
Talking or joking about committing suicide.
Saying things like, “I’d be better off dead,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “There’s no way out.”
Speaking positively about death or romanticizing dying (“If I died, people might love me more”).
Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide.
Engaging in reckless behavior or having a lot of accidents resulting in injury.
Giving away prized possessions.
Saying goodbye to friends and family as if for good.
Seeking out weapons, pills, or other ways to kill themselves

Just felt like clearing that out of my throat. Found out some in the internet, and some i put in myself. Nope, im not having this problem. But its kinda cool to read things like this.

Anyways, the real reason i wanted to blog is to say this:

You think you so cool la now. Wanna belanja people starbucks, wanna say this wanna say that. Grow up la, when you don't have a boyfriend you disturb this guy. When you do, its like you turn off yourself like that. Weh, im not angry or pissed off at you, i got no reasons to. But girls like you should seriously just get a life. I freaking hate girls like you. You think just because you young, smart and look like a matsalleh, you get whatever you want la kan. Ah, whatever la. Go to hell. Im sorry i said this, really just had to get it off my chest. Not like you read my blog so im fine with it. Yes, sometimes im really childish. I just say things i want to say without thinking what im saying and this bullshit comes out, and its just for you DAR-LING.

-fallen angel-

♥ 10:09 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

Forgot to post this pictures. Not too late.

Meet pacad, left for unisel already =(

Again.

& Capek/shafiq/que.
Didn't get a good picture of him. oops.

I've been listening to lots of songs from paramore. Surprising their song are really cool. Some songs means shes stolen someone. Or some means don't regret what you did. My favourite is "Here we go again". He's favourite is "that's what you get". That's how i got attached to paramore. Oh well, im done fine. I slept perfectly fine last night after watching Bratz, legally blonde, Ps:I love you, Music&lyrics. Okay, that's a little bit too much eh? Yup.

School was okay. Fana did a bet with me, she'll give me RM1 for everyday i come to school this whole week. Haha, like she would give. But still gonna do it. Been missign school to much already, and come on, if i stay at home, i'll sleep till like 3 in the afternoon then AGAIN at night i can't sleep. So, i sodomly swear that i would go to school tomorrow.

Came back from school, had a 25 minute bath. Yes, i was thinking like so much. Surprising, i can think well in the bathroom when water is flowing. Dont you feel that way too?I usually just take a long bath to think, get me out from the world. So i helped my mum clean the house abit cause my father supposed to come in this afternoon but he didn't call or anything. Anyways, around 5 something i woke up. Mus message me asking whether im going to padang 4, so okay laa. Pergi je la.. So around 6 15 i met up with them. Its so weird cause im the only girl there but nevermind, it was fun watching them playing takraw and i saw jack's little brother, azhar. Ohmygod i swear to God he looks so adorably

Cute. Cute. Cute.

Looks exactly like jack. But hes much more cute. I actually went to watch takraw just because i know he;s smaller brother would be there, and he knows my name. AAWWWW, how sweet...

o yeah, watched them play takraw, saw people i didn't want to see. Hope he doesn't get all perasan thinking im going to the padang to go and see him play. God, i thought he was not supposed to be there. Blame your bestfriend, he said you won't be there. Oh well. Hope you're girlfriend doenst go all ballistic.

So, my dad is already in Malaysia. He called like 1 hour ago, and hes coming over to the house only on thursday, and staying up till sunday, then going to cameron highlands if im not mistaken. Then school holidays in august, i'll be off to south africa for one week to see my greatgrandmother and my half first sister. Been damn long since i've seen her. I think the last was when i was 11, when she was getting married. So im so excited. Although i'll be leaving so many people here again, im so so so sad. At the same time, im so so so scared when i come back he'll be gone just like what happen last time. Oh well, things happen for a reason.

That's all i guess.

I found this after so long keeping it in my room.

A girl can only take too much till she finally breaks down.

-Fallen Angel-

♥ 9:41 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

What are we supposed to do?
After all that we've been through.
When everything that felt so right is wrong,
Now that the love is gone.
There is nothing left to prove,
No use to deny this simple truth.
Can't find the reason to keep holding on,
Now that the love is gone (love is gone)

-Love is gone - David quetta-

I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like

"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"

Miss you but I try not to cry

As time goes by

And soon as you reach a better place

Still I'd give the world to see your face

And I'm right here next to you

But it's like you're gone too soon

Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

-Bye Bye - Mariah Carey-

I wanted to write alot of things but i suddenly ran out of words.

-fallen angel-

♥ 10:54 PM

I was going through folders of my old songs. And i found this song.

"My mind is gone,

I'm spinning round

And deep inside,my tears I'll drown

I'm losing grip, what's happening

I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different

Felt like, I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now I'm, in this condition

And I've, got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what

you'll never see me cry"

Yes, this song. And yeah, listening to it over & over again.

This time, i think it really is over.

Now ALL OF YOU can have him for whatever you want.

Have Fun.

-fallen angel-

♥ 1:48 AM

Saturday, July 26, 2008

It's funny how you think you really know yourself
Like you would never lose yourself to someone else
And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me
Silly, silly me

I should have never listened to a word you said
But I was always giving into promises
I never should have gone for
I should have never longed for you
No matter how hard it gets

And I want this to be over
I so want this to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Everywhere i go - Katherine Mcphee

Been listening to this song over & over again, nowdays. When im alone and no one is bothering me. No idea what im feeling now. All i know is that im just hurt that's all.

1:I dont want to know anything that happens out of us anymore.
2: I'll stop myself from asking "the questions" because i know there would never be a confident asnwer from you which i effing hate but i'm just shutting up.
3: Please stop treating me as though i can't go on in life without you

Im perfectly fine without you.

-fallen angel-

♥ 9:03 PM

Friday, July 25, 2008

You know, sometimes i feel really gilababinakmampos happy because hes back. But at the same time so wtfbbq because of the things that happen while hes back here. I really did tell myself no more being jealous, no more being angry, no more being my old self. But i just cannot help it when its her. I mean maybe i feel offended because she's WAY prettier then me, shes smart. Although shes younger then me i still hate her in so much more other ways. Before going back from school, i always see her lining up and always just wonder what is up her mind. Or maybe their just good friends. I can't help it feeling this way. I mean i lost him too many times already. Its really sickening me nowdays. God this is stupid. Not like writing this would make a difference. Ive already lost someone to another girl i just hope it doesnt happen again. And of course he wont even give me confidence that it wont happen. The messages are all just the same.
='(

Yesterday went out to asia cafe with some friends. Played pool. I've suck even much more then last time =(. But i won a few games with pacad giving me alot of chances. "so sweet". At one point, when i sat down. My backbone was feeling really really pain. I tried standing up and it hurt even more, so i sat back down again, the pain still didn't go away. Its like pain and needles only much more pain-er. I didn't tell anyone though it was hurting. I could stand the pain so no problem-o. I had fun last night with them and kutuk-ing pacad, bangsat! And shafiq kutuk-ing me all the time plak. And asye being his quiet self all the time.

Hmm

Spend some time with babylove last night, he came back early but now hes back in college again. For his last class. No idea why he even bother to come back. He didn't even have any excuse when i asked him why. Oh well, must not be because he misses me. Nevermind.

I dont really have much to write now, I dont have the mood.

-fallen angel-

♥ 4:46 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Its bad enough i have to see you're freaking face in school. Now you wanna talk about things you dont know the fuck about. My god, you're just a two face bitch, shut the fuck up when you have too la k. Dont think you're so goddamn smart then everyone else and you're so high up above laa. Have some class, be what you're supposed to be. Everyone knows you as the two face bitch backstabber already. Try to change yourself la goddamit. No life Bee - yotch.

Today i went to school surprisingly, I woke up quite late but oh well had to rush all the way to school. Then end up they had that chef thingy in taylor's college and usually when there's a school trip almost my whole class will go. So there was only like 9 people in class i think. Wasn't that bad of a day actually. I wasn't that bored. Talked with raiha, izuan, umar. I wanted to go home early, wanted to call my mom, But then just stayed laa and just wait la till school finish. After recess i went straight to bilik seni then i stayed there till goning back finished up almost half of my sketches. Surprisingly my work is quite okay. I mean im getting better in drawing. That's a shock aitez.

Came back from school then went to jeswena's house. Didn't wanna sleep this afternoon. Did not take any pictures as im so lazy and i didn't even bring my phone. Brought the dog there again. He messed up the whole bloody place, as usual. Biting all the flowers and whatever things he can find. Jeswena got so pissed off with him she started shouting like the high tone irratating shout. Made duche' scared, since the shout he didn't bother to mess up anything anymore. Just sat down and watch me do my work from far. Goodboy, duche' .

I think the song "when i grow up - pussycatdolls" Is quite nice. I mean i didn't like it listening to it the first time. But after a while listening to it. Its not that bad. And i saw the video clip for it. Not bad. God, Nicole scherzinger has the best body ever. Jealous jealous jealous.

And i heard today that someone has been calling me AIDS whenever im not in school. Whatever la, fuck it la. I mean if you dont know how to appreciate what i actually gave you. Then you're a low life loser that would never succeed in life. I mean the rate you're going at now also i think maybe the best you can be also "The best drainsweeper in all of subang". I don't bother you're life. I dont talk about you too everyone else. People just ask questions about you, and i answer. What you want me to goddamn say? That is not true? I cant okay. Because they already know the answer. You're stupid enough to tell them in the first place.

Nevermind, ignore that. Some stupid asshole can't just get a life and stop haunting me all the freaking time.

I miss you, babylove <3

-fallen angel-

♥ 7:58 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2008

19th July 2008, Saturday. 11.00pm

He's brother's futsal gang.

This was supposed to be candid, but he turned just in time. DAMN!

18th July 2008, Friday. 11:30pm.

He's so called perfect satria.

EXACTLY like a rempit. Oops

17th July 2008, Thursday ~ 4.30pm

I suck at posing with duche'

By the way, im supposed to pick between this dress and the red dress for a upcoming dinner annual partyy.Help me pick yea?

Jeswena trying to be ashley tisdale. *yuck* haaa

t much time to write everything that happened to me this whole week. But its just been BUZY, BUZY BUZY, the whole damn time. Going out too much, money folking out all the time. Coming back, tired as hell. Back in the room, and fall straight asleep. In the afternoon wake up, do some art project. Still haven't even reach 20 pages also. Shit la. But whatever la, at least i did more then 10 pages. Most of them were filled with the background. Not the name. since i suck in fonts. Hope it would save me from getting a F for seni. Jack's back at college again.So, another 5 days till i see him. And he doesn't have any credit at all also. So wont be contacting him that much as last time. Just now, in the afternoon, i played abit of badminton with my mother. The whole time i was shouting how old my mother is now and how much she sucks in playing badminton. End up she beat me. Damn! And she was talking how Jack chan Used to be the best badminton player before. Im like uh... whatever maaann.. God. So anyways, sum up everything. Just been buzy and sorry to all my fans yeaah? hehe. Loves loves muax muax.

Will update more tonight when i have the time. Trust me, you would want to hear the story of how Nicole is that stupid sometimes. Oh well. toodles.

-fallen angel-

♥ 8:41 PM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

When Boredom hits Fallen Angel.

Tried to be Sepet. ha

Tried to be REALLY sepet. haa

& This is why i dont smile when i take pictures.

& Why my face looks the same all the time

Sorry haven't been updating lately. Don't really have the mood. Dont know what to write about. Since everyone thinks i write only EMO stuff. No i dont. Okay, maybe most of the time. but heck, it is a blog right? Writing no point things gets boring after a while. Teenagers love the whole drama part of life anyways.

Been staying back at school for two days now. Gonna be going to school the whole week this week. Have to finish up my arts project. It really sucks hell mann. I don't have any creativity & Inspiration for my damn billboard. Its so hard looking at other's one and theirs are like so perfect while mine is like piece of shit. Gonna have to try harder & pay much more attention. Feel like asking teacher to help but then im scared. How pathetic? Yeah, that's me.

School has been a bitch sometimes. i mean not to say anything la, and i know this would be brought up sooner or later in clas. Since alot of people from my class read my blog. But i seriously hate the name BESI. its so fucking irratating. For a while, can laa. After that it really gets on ur bloody nerves. The bloody rod is actually keeping me alive and ya'll can make fun of it. Yes i'm damn sensitive k. And don't ask me questions when you're gonna backfire back at me again okay. U ask, i answer. And then wanna say so many things about the bloody answer. Its irratating you know.
And this is not for ya'll k babes?

So, i've been hearing loads of stories about my family tree and stuff. Hahah, i just knew that i was from a royal blood family. But then my grandfather got adopted by someone else because his mum not supposed to have him or something like that. And his father was the KING of Thailand. But i know people wont believe but heck, just write je laa.

Babylove <3

Won't be seeing him for the next 3 more days. I think. Depends laa. I feel like not seeing him for maybe like 2 weeks o something. See how it feels to not meet that person as much as you did last time. Maybe then the love would grow more. He always said that. That's why hes all the way in Kay elle Now. And might change to BANGI or something like that la. What kinda college has the hostel in BANGI and the classes in KL. its like waste of time going back&forth right? And he has to stay there for the first sem. Better he just go from subang. Much More closer. I only can message him starting from 8 at night. Only! Well i try laa. Sometimes between his classes he'll message asking where i am. Its kinda sweet he does that. Never use to do that last time. Maybe its different now. Maybe its not. Hes telling everyone that i;m his girlfriend. I dont even know whethere i'm his girlfriend. People come up to me and ask me whether im with him. And my answer is always "Dont know, Its a on-off friendship we have". Some people know the meaning of that. Oh well, whatever it is. Glad someone is loving me again & again & again.

My hand hurts a whole damn alot. And baby, keep you're promises please.
PS: I love you till the end.

-Fallen angel-

♥ 11:18 PM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I'm blogging because i cant seem to tell anyone else how i'm feeling.
Mann, i miss him like quite alot. I have so many mixed up feelings.
Im scared, im worried, im sad, im depressed, im emo, im having no patience at all, im terrified, im hoping, im wishing for things that i know won't come true.

I've been hearing the song too many times now. Its so stuck in my head. I'm singing to babylove for goodness sake. I hate the song, i really do. It's all fake & lies. I read his old messages all the time before i sleep. It makes me cry then fall asleep, cause i feel so tired of crying so i just go into a sudden sleep or dream. Wake up the next morning and wonder how did i actually fall asleep. I'm suffering from so many things right now. My mood is going on and off all the time. I just wish there was more time. More time to fix so many things. I gotta stop crying. I gotta stop feeling this way.

-fallen angel-

"And all i wanted was just one message from you, and i'm out like this"

♥ 12:18 AM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The last day, forever. <3

I can explain this, he was helping my mum with some wood work.
And i just took a picture of him, for fun.
I was outside, waiting for him.

College photo. He looks funny, in a way

A shirt he gave me. I asked for it.
Smells exactly like him.

Okay, I know i know, we're not together yet we're spending time with each other. How weird is that right? Oh well, whatever it is. It was our last day. And things would just move on from there. He's college life would be starting. I would be forgotten, i think. And life would move on from there. I would be sitting for my spm. Maybe some nights i'll be thinking how is he. But i promise i won't bother anymore. I'm hoping i can at least try to do it.
He deserve someone better then me. Im not perfect at all.

So, today around 6 something. He came over. I was supposed to walk to padang 5, but it was raining so i couldn't. So he said he would come for a while with his bike. So he came, and we walked to 7 11.wanted to buy slurpee, but it wasn't working, as usual. So bought ice cream instead. Walked to padang 4 for a while, hanged out there, sat down. Talked while he smoke. As usual. Then went back home. My family wasn't home yet. Shawn was sick, so my mum brought him to the clinic. Around 7.30 he left for home. & then, around 8 something, he came with his satria. With his brother & and his brother's friend. I know them, so didn't felt so sesat as i used too. Went all the way to shah alam, to take his college photo. The one you see on top. Then, went to i have no idea where but its in shah alam laa. Met up with their friend then went to the cyber cafe for a while, they played C.S or something like that. While i checked my myspace. God, it was so goddamn slow. I got fed up with it but still had the patience to wait for it to load. God, cybercafe is supposed to be like damn fast. That was the worst cybercafe ever. And it was like fulled of Rempit Man. Hahaha. That's what i call them. Anyways, moving on.

Went to this shop to makan cause he got bored playing C.S, i ate nasi goreng kampung. Mann, that was like the best nasi goreng kampung i ever tried. i felt like eating again, but didn't want too laa, later become fat as he said. He ate mee tomyam. His brother was still playing C.S upstairs for about half an hour i think. When they came down to eat, we left to the car instead. Talked again about how he's life gonna be when he goes there. He feels like he's gonna be alone. You should hear the jokes he made. Mann, they we're so funny. But i can't write here, its so complicating. Anyways, he drove all the way back home again. Send his brother home. Then he send me home. Helped my mum for the last time, hahah. Then he left also.

& while he was driving home. He put on this song, and started saying it was for me.
& until now i just dont seem to believe the words, im sorry. Its just so hard. I'm actually crying while hearing it because it really hurts to hear a song like this while you're not together. Guess he doesn't understand that. Oh well, this is the lyrics.

"kaulah segalanya - hazrul nizam"

Kau mahu bak segala
Cinta yang ku dahaga
Kehadiran dirimu
Menyinari maka semua hatiku
Kaulah segalanya
Yang menyinari hidupku kasih
Hanya satunya
Yang kucintai

Hulur tanganmu kasih
Sambut cintaku
Jangan tinggalkan daku
Seorang diri
Tak sanggup lagi dilukai

Maafkan daku
Jika salahku
Peristiwa yang pernah ku alami dulu
Aku tahu betapa pahitMu
menerima sejarah hidupku

Kaulah segalanya
Yang menyinari hidupku kasih
Hanya satunya
Yang kucintai
Sambutlah cintaku

Jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
Cintaku padamu
Ikhlas sejati
Cintaku padamu
Ikhlas sejati

Okay, that's the song. And when i first heard it, it felt heartwarming. But after listening to it over&over again. I felt sad, deep inside me. Because the lyrics seems so different. But i'm glad the song is for me.

-fallen angel-

"Im trying to not wish for you"

♥ 1:26 AM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Duche'Jaq Babylove.

4th-8th Of july.
Ive been missing because of this reasons.
Family problems, commercial, arts project, depression & Partying

Yeah, i've been missing because of that. Even to school also, I stayed over at my sisters house on sunday, didn't have time to come back home on monday. So didn't go to school, then tuesday. I woke up early, i swore i woke up early, But i saw it was raining so damn heavy and i'm already having fever, so i couldn't risk it. And slept back again. My arts project is getting better by the day. I've been paying alot of attention on it. 4 hours straight not doing anything else except the arts project. But i still can't goddamn well design my own handphone. I'm not that good in drawing and stuff like that. oh well, i'll figure it out soon enough. Just hope when i pass it up at least i can pass.

SPM is around the corner. And it only hit me like this weekend like what would my life be if i failed almost everything. Even BM i failed for goodness sake. God, i'm that stupid aren't i? I just wish i had my dad's genes sometimes. Maybe then i would be as smart as him. He's a lecturer for goodness sake. And he got a daughter like me. I'm so sure he'll be so damn proud. Not. Even though i miss school almost all the time. I seem to be TRYING to study at home. I can't understand a word teacher teaches in school. Either i dont pay any attention at all. Or i'm just too shy to even say "I dont understand teacher". Cause i know if she/he would teach me, i would still not understand. She/he Is gonna be thinking "God, how stupid can she be?". Yeah.. Oh well, whatever laa. Wherever life takes me i just have to go through it. SPM failed then ill just have to pick up myself all the time.

He's going to college on thursday. Today would be the last time we're meeting up. And well hope its memorable. Nothing fancy. Maybe just go for a drive around subang. Our relationship/friendship is like so disfunctional. Okay, stupid way to put it. But yeah, the love is still there or whatever we call it. But we're not gonna do anything about it. Cause we know where it will always end up. It's usually quite easy for me to walk out when you want me too. But this time i just dont know why i can't do it. And he cant too. Its either i'll run back, or he would. And he NEVER runs back, trust me i know. But with me, he was different. He's someone i've never known. And i'm learning to just be there for him when he wants me too.
He's on the way home from Johor, Muar now. He went there with his brother&uncle to get some stuff. its' been 4 days since i've seen him. The loneliness is driving me crazy. I'm excited but never get my hopes too high, i'll always crash down. I know myself too well.

Oh well, that's it i guess.

"I just wish you would say you miss me too"

-fallen angel-

♥ 6:57 PM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The beloved.

This was taken 03.07.08.

I'm really sick but still took a picture. Yes i was bored, duche' babylove is behind me but you can't really see him because i blocked him. He's sleeping now. Just fed and bath him. I think he's already trained on where to poop and all. You should see my house now, its all covered up with wood here, and there. Cuz duche' is not allowed to go nearby the living room. Since my mum's carpet is there. I seem to listen to "Torn - natalie imbruglia" Almost all the time now. And only now i understand the lyrics and wonder why this song actually came to our lives. And i had the weirdest dream on the second of this month.. But i didnt write it down. It was me and some guy on the road. He said this.

"I've showed you so many signs on what was happening, but you chose to ignore it and listen to you're head, you chose to walk away and ignore everything infront of you"

I woke up and i could still remember the words. And i couldn't even see who it was. I'm thinking it's G*D. But i'm not sure. Well whatever it is, maybe he's right. I was so blindly in love trying to fix things that i never really knew what he was feeling. Oh well, all i know is the love is there, the missing is still there, we message yesterday for about 2 hours. He wanted to test me whether i still cared. And of course i did, although sometimes i felt like giving up. But i couldn't stop myself from messaging. Hope he's college life and his life would work out for the best. We were always meant to be bestfriends and i'm happy for that.. Babylove <3.

I've been missing school lately, because my eyes seem so bengkak when i wake up, and i feel so lazy to even get up, because its either i slept at 5 30 in the morning or maybe 6. I sleep at the weirdest time nowdays. And it's always because i'm crying before that. So it makes me sleepy, and i just fall just like that. I slept at my living room for a while yesterday cause i didn't feel like sleeping in my room. Oh well, whatever it is. Tomorrow is school again, i think i'm missing. I think laa. See first laa. I know everyone hates me now for missing school. I know i haven't change yet. I can't say much la.

-fallen angel-

"Yes you made me smile yesterday,

all i would say is Thanks babylove <3"

♥ 7:06 PM

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Last Day out with Badak.

Big enough for you to read,fatcat?

At 4.00am, taking pictures. haaa

He's crazy, that's why he's going off to bangi! haaa

Finding for the car.

Stupid necklace! ceh!

Me & Me only.

The 3 amigos.

The best guys you'll ever meet.
And their mine, too bad!

Yeaaaaaahhh!

Ish, nak ambik gambar sorang2 pun xleh ke?!

So, i went to sunway pyramid yesterday. Cause rockstar is going off to bangi on the 5th for college. awwww, and he ckp dia nak lepak ngaaan iiii...everyone says " AWWWWW....."

HAHA. So yeah, left the house around 8 something. Took fatcat then went to pyramid. Watched "MaidOfHonour". Some funny movie weh, but rockstar doesn't have not even one ounce of romantic-ness in his body. So to him, it wasn't all that great. Half way through the movie i whispered to asye saying "Now, is so not a good time to watch "these" kinda movies". Some of you will understand that soon enough. So yeah, around 11 something went to asia cafe. Wait, went to mcdonald first, then to asia cafe. Btw, rockstar paid for EVERYTHING. isn't that so sweet? Everyone goes " AWWWWW.....". hahaha! "He's so gonna kill me, thankgod dia ade kat bangi ;)". So played pool at asia cafe. I was wearing heels so its like damn hard to bend over and hit the ball or something like that. So i walked around barefooted. They called me "Orang asli". Whatever laa. I do whatever i want. No one cares anyways. Around 2 something, it was raining, so couldn't go home yet. Then fitry came over for a while, hang out. Talked to him, and he started giving me advices. Since rockstar doesn't know how to talk when the subject involves "relationship". So left asia cafe around 4 something. Then send fitry home, rockstar home. And i'm home at last. Asye was driving by the way. It was a cool night, keep my mind of things..

whatever it is, You're acting very weird around me but i like it.
As for you, i dont really have much to say.

This is the greatest part of my blog...

MEEETTTTT......................

BABYLOVE!

I know, the weirdest name to call a dog right? BUT, i have some inside reasons why i want that name. And it kinda suits. Hee, went to the place to take the dog. He was the first one to like smell me and started licking me. So i was like yeah, that's the one i want. It was RM550. Okay price laaa. So yeah, my hands are getting tired. Would write about him sooner or later.

Take care everyone.

Loves,

-fallen angel-

♥ 10:23 PM