♥ 1:18 AM

♥ 10:39 AM

Pump it, rock it, groove it, move it.
Make it, shake it, never lose it.
Fix it, fake it, never break it.
Pump it, pipe it, never state it.
Drum it, snare it, blast it, kick it.
Want some pussy, never lick it.
Push it, screw it, suck it, squeeze it.
Do it there, I wanna lick it!

Read E.V.E.R.Y S.I.N.G.L.E word.
Read it.

One day im gonna put this song on my profile. Just wait & see.

Its 5.30 in the morning and im just bored.

Toodles.

I miss you.

-fallen angel-

♥ 4:41 AM

♥ 9:26 PM

♥ 9:28 PM

So, its 7:15am now. Off to school. I think gerak gempur (forensics) are starting today. Im not really sure. Oh well, All i know is i haven't even read a single bit. Mann, Im so dead la wehh.. So yeah, just now about 3 am. My friend gave me the shocka my life.. I swear to god i felt like killing him cause i was just about to go to sleep. Damn! So yeah, he was infront of my house and he said sorry and stuff like that. When i open the door, he showed a smily face. Stupid FOOL. So, i hugged him and then i cooked sausages and eggs. He didnt eat any. Bloody FOOL. Then, my pet brother got emo on me i think.. Cause of some things i said about this anonymous guy that came over.. Im sorry dear.. Well i was really surprise. He came all the way from negeri sembilan. No one really did that for me.. Coming from so far just to say sorry. Awwww~ You are so sweet. Thanks. Then he had to go home at 4 am. Cause my mum said i needed S-L-E-E-P.

After that, i was texting "somebody". I confessed everything to him. How i felt. Like everything. And he said some too. Aww, hes so sweet. But i know he wont be mine. Oh well. There's other fishes in the sea. Just need to find the right goddamn fish!. My friend asked me that day "What do you if you love someone you know you can't get?". And all i had to say is " Dont give up". You know why? Cause something that's hard to get is worth the work. So yeah, Just dont give up sayang.. I won't give up too. I love you too god damn much.. But i know my limits of course. Well, i got over my ex boyfriend quite fast eh? Actually im not even over him.. Im still on off with him.. All that's going through my mind is what a slut am i. BUT, im not sleeping with anybody.. That's a A+. Okay, im crapping too much.. Off to school...

Toodles..

-fallen angel-

♥ 7:10 AM

-Snuff - Slipknot-

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I cant destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that saver every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart...
When you refused to fight
So save your breath I will not hear
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
My hope was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I wont listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago

If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know

This song was introduce to me by Max Gill. He's a fan of slipknot, cardle of filth, and every metal rock bands. So yeah. Its the slowest song i have ever heard from slipknot. Fell inlove with it from the first strum of guitar.. Okay, The song doesn't really mean anything. But the lyrics is really apart of me. I dont really really understand what the song is really about. But im trying to understand soon enough.

I really should start getting my sleep house right this time. Im sleeping when people are awake and awake when people are asleep. Something is wrong with me. Im not eating right. Wait, scrath that. Im eating alot actually. Like a whole lot. About 7 times a day. I have nothing else to do. I mean i actually do. But i can't find anyone that can help me with it. But im trying to get through this.

The weekends was just a tiring day. Going here and there. On saturday i went to brickfields with Beverley, Ahbi And Pam. To find deepavali punjabi suit. The smell. I dont like it. But what to do? The punjabi suits were very very beautiful. I love the sequence on it. It was like only RM100. Beverley says its cheaper then last year. So we walked at brickfields for like an hour or so. Then reach KL SENTRAL. Where there was a deepavali festival. They were selling it like for RM50. The people selling the baju are really really funny. Their like "RM5O, come in come in come in. No need to buy also can, just come in and see. Fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty" And we were like laughing cause of the way they were saying it.

After that supposed to go to pacad's Open House. Then my mum told me i had a dinner with my cousins and stuff. I had to pick. But i haven't seen my cousins in like a bloody long time. And yeah. Its a family thing. So i had to skip Pacad's Open House. Im sorry brother.. So i had makan2 with the cousin's. Lepak2. Drank tequilla outside the house at like 4 am in the morning. Playing truth or dare. And making a story starting " Saya Sebuah Pencil". I swear to god it was so funny. Everyone had to say like 3 words and make it into a story. It was the most sickest story, where the pencil had actually been. Ewww. But that's Private & Confidential.

I guess i wrote more then enough. Not gonna write about what happen today. Totally regret what i did. Im sorry aunty. I didn't mean to make your house a place for that. Im so stupid. I should have went home. Seriously just stupid stupid stupid to the max. I should start changing, like seriously. Should start accepting the bloody fact. And everything else is not really fine. Im pissed off with someone but im not gonna show it. Its you and her problem now. I dont want to masuk campur anymore. Like seriously. No point. I just think that being drunk was not a bloody excuse. Thats all. Other then that, everything is good. =)

-Fallen Angel-

♥ 10:35 PM

Sad times we went through together.

What do i gotta do to make you want me?
What do i gotta do to make you care?
What do i do when lightning strikes me?
And to wake to find that you're not there.
What do i gotta do to be heard?
What do i say when its all over.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
- Elton John -

Sorry, is all that you can say.
Years gone by and still,
Words dont come easily.
Like sorry. Like sorry.
You can say baby.
Baby can i hold you tonight?
Baby if i told you the right words?
Ooo, At the right time.
You'd be mine.
- Tracy Chapmon & Pavavotti -

Im sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back.
I love how you kissed.
I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go round
And i just want to say Im sorry.
- Buckcherry -

Tonight will be the night that i would fall for you
Over again. Dont make me change my mind
I won't live to see another day.
I swear its true.
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.
- Secondhand Serenade -

Im not the only going through problems. Should stop complaining and whining and just appreciate what i have. I have a school i go to. I have money. I have my ac clans. I have friends close by. I have a mother that loves me. I have someone that cares about me 100%. I have a petbrother that i look up to for anything. I have a father that supports me. I have a brain. I have all my body parts. I can see. I can walk. I can talk. I can hear. Yeah, i should start appreciating it. And no more me & you. You say you still love me and you dont want me to leave you. Yet you are leaving me and ignoring me. That's the most matured thing to do huh? Oh well. Its your choice. Dont start crying when the times comes. Im done baby. Im really just D-O-N-E

♥ 7:57 PM

♥ 12:45 PM

My Guardian Angel
- Shafique.

My online buddy.

"I so need a picture with you. like please mann.
For goodness sake.
Dont make me stick your face beside my picture mann.
haha "

&
Cant show pictures of it.

My Heart&Soul.

And of course. Me. Nicole. The girl.
Yes this is me.
Today.
Only.
Sorry about the eyes.

-Im wearing everything that belongs to him.;p-

-fallen angel-

♥ 3:55 AM

♥ 12:06 AM

The Moment Of Truth.

I would love to put all my ex boyfriends or guy friends on that show. Like seriously. And only ask questions about me. HAHA. How perasan of me right? Oh well..

The moment of truth is just a sick sad scary depressing show on star world. I swear to God, some of the contestants i actually felt like crying my heart out.. It was so sad seeing their life just end that way. And some they reach like 100 thousand. And the last answer you get it wrong. You lose all the money and your secret is out to the world. Its like whatthefuckshit mann? That's just freaking sad... for them of course...Especially the girlfriends or husbands that has to find out they are being cheated on. Alright enuf of the moment of truth..

I had a bad time last night. I cried my heart out for no reason at all. I wanted to blog about my sad sad day but then couldn't get into blogger. Guess God didnt want me to tell the whole world what im feeling. I think im strong. But just not strong enough. Im sorry guys. But i actually contacted him like yesterday night. And as usual, he hurt me again by some of the words he said. I cried but i pick myself up again. That's what i always do. But we're just friends.

Can;t wait for the private party this friday. Gonna have a blast. Hope there is alot of hot guys. Please oh God Please let there be hot guys. Desperate much? No laa. Just want to know new people. =) And can't wait for My Pet brother's open house this saturday. No idea how im going there. And i get to meet his awesome four years girlfriend.. Mimi. Can't wait can't wait can't wait! =)

"You keep on finding for spark
in a man or a woman,
you're gonna get burn
sooner or later"

-fallen angel-

♥ 10:48 PM

Im biting my nails very badly again. Just came back from sungai buloh. Mummy said its gonna be very close by and just karaoke-ing. Hell no, when i was in the car, i slept for a while. Woke up, and we still haven't even reach!! So i ask mum where we going? She said Sungai Buloh. Im like what the farks? I shud be at home now. Maybe studying. Instead im at sungai buloh. Oh well, it wasn't that bad. I had aunty salmah's daughter to talk too. She was from usj12. And she hates you too! What a coincidence. So weird. So we were bad mouthing as i usual do. And also talking about spm. Shes pretty smart, unlike me.

They ask me to sing a song. But they didn't have my song. Kesetiaan - Siti Sarah. I should start learning more malay songs. Abit the dumb for a girl like me that only knows one malay song. And it was out on the open. So i was abit shy, thanking god that they didn't have the song. Didnt take any pictures cause it was pretty dark.. I was playing with farah. their 3 year old kid.. Shes so adorable but when she screams, shes like a devil.

So came back home. Watched * My accidental husband*. Quite good movie. But as usual, i already know whats gonna happen at the end. I think im starting to get my dad's instinct. Its your worst nightmare when you watch a movie with my dad. Before half of the movie, he's telling you the ending. And the movie, he haven't even watch it all. I prefer going shopping with him. I miss my daddy. He would know what to say to me while im going through all this shit in life. Guess im going to bed already.

Oh oh, I saw someone just now. He looked pretty sad. And stuff like that. Shawn called him to talk to me and he actually stood there but i told shawn to let go of him. And he said bye to shawn and left. Wow, didnt expect him to just stand there. Wish i could help him like i helped him before. But time passes, can't do anything if we're not friends. Almost wanted to message him but i stayed away.. Stayed far far away. Dont be so sad aitez? =)

Toodles.

-fallen angel-

♥ 3:06 AM

A brief update about today and yesterday.

Well, went to school yesterday. Got some of my results. Swear to god i felt like crying but i painted instead. Just to keep my mind off things. Of course im not gonna write down what i failed. But i got a1 for english and im the top 5 for english. TOP 3 DONT COUNT! So yeah, today had out BM results back. i think. I didn't go to school. Thought of waking up at 4 am to watch a movie but end up i slept the whole day. I couldn't even get up. It was so cold in my room. No wonder i can't get up.

I talked to someone just now. All i can say is im sorry for over-reacting. Maybe its just the missing and the not understanding how you're going through so much now. And im not the only one with problems. Im sorry if i wasn't there before for you. I'll try my best to make us like before. Sorry for blaming you for everything.

I stop contacting him. For about 3 days now. Its getting harder by the day and im always complaining to my goodfriends about how hard it is. And their so there for me. Never thought all of them hated me for giving him chances all the time. Yah,Loking at my phone and wanting to find his name and just call. I push myself away by just listening to all the love music he used to give me. I tried my best to stop crying. But i still do. I hope my friends are proud of me for doing this. I know my pet brother is. Oh well.

Going for a dinner now. Update more later. Toodles.

=)

-fallen angel-

♥ 7:53 PM

♥ 6:08 AM