Stories
:

People change but i never knew my bestfriend would turn into something i thought she would never be. Its hard to be with someone when some things she fakes it and doesn't act herself..

if doing something stupid just because your emo is truly bullshit.

i do it, i dont expect you to be the same, you get it?

People do hurt me, its okay, im used to it, dont mind. My whole life i went through hurt, its not a problem. But yesterday was one of the worst scenario i have ever put myself into.

But as usual, im back on my feet because i care for the person i hurt.

Even though im hurting inside still that he never did apologise properly, its okay, its done and over with.

loves, fallen angel.

Today. A.day.with.mua.lesbian.partner.si

New HairCut.

AHLONG AHHHH!

Not Much Differnce. As Usual.

Cutest Thing Made On Earth.
Meet Ellisa & Danial.
My Mum's Friend Daughter & Son.

Was taking care of them for almost 3 days and now their in kedah..
I miss them very very much. Especially Ellisa.
Danial is a real monkey freak that jumps up and down on couches.
He's scary.

Duche' is 8 months now. And he's growing so big.
Used to be so small last time. Oh well.
xoxoxo.

Trust.
Something I must learn to live with, not without. Something I must learn to get cause of what I have done.

Love.
Something I won’t be able to be without. Something I have finally reached. I know there’s nothing else in my life unless I find my love and finally found it in him. Yes I have,

Faith.
Learn to have faith in myself. Not bring myself down. Learn to be able to think positive about my life.

Kiss.
The only best one is him. Because I know both of us feel the same way when we kiss.

Friends.
Something I won’t be able to live with but its okay if it’s for now. Friends are people who bring you up not down, the one you would believe in. The ones that believes in you. Would put you first among everyone else when there’s a problem. I have found my best two friends. I love ya’ll

Past.
Something that would be hard to forget. Something you have to learn to live with it and to learn to try to forget. Not bring it up all the time. It’s the past. I want to learn to fix it means I have to forget it. I realize.

Future.
No one knows the future. No one knows what’s going to happen. All you have to do now is believe everything happens for a reason. Good or Bad.

Children.
This is the hard one. I love children. I realize I do love them. It’s hard when things happen. All I can do is strive for the best next time.

Honesty.
To learn to trust. To learn to love. First comes honesty, if over and over again, you FIND out the honesty, your relationship is done. I am not joking. No point continue if everything you have to find out is from someone else not from the person you do love and you do trust.

Life.
Life is just life. Good, Bad. Positive, Negative, Death and live. Life is just really life. There’s nothing anyone can say.

Journeys.
Everything I have been through, I don’t regret one bit. It’s a journey that brought me here. I chose the journey, no point blaming myself now.

Experience.
Everything that I have done, it’s called experience. You don’t know what is out there until you try. You don’t know whether genting is cold until you get there. Its experience. Try it but make sure you don’t regret it.

Giving up.
When you finally reach the point, you feel like giving up everything. I’ve been there, done that. Then things happen, and I went back to square one. Sometimes I wonder why I did it. Sometimes I just let it be.

Lies.
It’s hard when you find out some things for yourself and you ask your spouse whether it’s true or not and he says no it’s not true. When you yourself know the truth already. Now that hurts. But when you catch the person off guard that’s something you would feel like you never felt before. To catch someone when their wrong, to me is the greatest.

Cheating.
Cheating is something like lies too. Relatives I guess. The person lied for a period of time saying he loves you only when inside his heart his thinking about another person. I went through this. I did this. Yes, I admit I cheated must worst then what my spouse did to me. But I believe its just karma. Sometimes to give back what he did is much better then just worrying about whether it’s going to happen again. Sometimes guys need taste of their own medicine

Pain.
Oh, I felt a lot of this in the past 5 years maybe? Nope, it not only started now. It started a long time ago. I learned it from my ex boyfriend. I actually learn to be much stronger to pain. I don’t feel a thing when a knife goes through my veins. It only happened once don’t worry. But I’m trying to get out of this trauma I’m having. It’s not very good.

Family.
Something I can only run away when I have fixed my true life. My mother is my responsibility. I would take care of her until she is under the ground *touches wood*. Its hard to sometimes live with her, she’s hard to handle. Just like me. But I love her. She helps me through everything. She keeps my secret. We’re like Gilmore girls. Lol. I miss my dad but he’s far away. It’s okay.

I hope everyone understand what i was trying to write here. I guess i'm learning now.. Learning to be a better person then i was before. And this is just my side of the story. How about yours? What do you feel? You can copy and paste if you want too. I would love to know. That's all i've been feeling since 2009 started and its getting much better, no worries.

Sometimes breaking free is the best, but i'm locked in.

-fallen angel-