As if you have a choice.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Merdeka Eve Celebration

First of all, its always Pacad. HAHA.
He was sad he only got two burgers. lol

I dont know what i was doing.

I nak die belanje! Belanje laaa! lol

Shapeq kononnya POSING

Meet LILY! Shes the pro in Pool. hee

Meet Fauzi/Poji. Is that right? hehe

We were jokin with shapeq. lol

I was looking at something. tha's all i know.

Laugh Laugh

BLUR GILER!! hahaha

Picture Time.

Pacad's

Suposed to do new style, end up like this.

So W-T-V. haa

My eyes weren't red, it was the make up. hee

I got a name for shapeq.
"Chick with a Dick, thats good on a Stick"
HHAHAH!

Them. hee =)

They tried taking pictures of themselves.
F-A-I-L-E-D

POOL TIME

Pacad.

Again.

Me. hahaa

Shapeqq. hee =)

Lily. She rocks!

CAD. haha

Now she rocks in POOL mann.

Okay, i wanna write but i write later, because xde mase skrg. hee

♥ 4:21 PM

Saturday, August 30, 2008

As you can see, i've edited my layout. As usual, every two months i would change my layout and this looks kinda cool. Took me 2 hours to do all the changes and make it right this time. HTML is getting cool nowdays especially when you understand it. Learned new tricks too! So i slept for about 8 hours last night cause i was down with a bad fever and vomitting continiously, no idea why. My mum and shawn is down with this fever too. Its just the weather, really sucks nowdays. School on Friday was cool. I was actually doing my maths but didn't understand a dime of it. Its so goddamn hard. Learning i guess. Trials starting next week. So many things bottled in my mind now that i just feel like shouting at someone, but i cant. Instead i'll be as calm as possible.

So i kinda found out some things i didnt really want to know today. But God gave me the brains and the decision to open it so i did. And it wasn't really much of a surprise. I mean who am i kidding? Hes a guy, they always do things like this. Find someone new as soon as possible to just forget about the pass. Sounds so familiar like my ex huh? Yeah, their both not different at all and i just realize it now. So anyways, on thursday night i was outside just sitting down while everyone was sleep and tears came down my eyes and then my bestfriend was there for me when he wasn't. It was shafique by the way. Thanks for all the advice you gave me, i really apprciated it. And yeah because of you, i actually wipe all my tears and watch FRIENDS on astro. Thanks thanks!. Sometimes you really just need someone next to you to boost your confidence up.

Okay, so im gonna private my blog soon i think. Please give me your email if you want to continue reading my BORING blog. hee. The reasons im private-ing it is because i need to really BITCH talk, and bastard talk about someone and i can't really write it now. Because i know that person might read and start saying how childish i am right now. I can't keep this is. I seriously cannot keep it in. Its too bloody hard. So yeah, give me your email. hee =)

I think TAYLOR SWIFT songs are nice. Its really touching. Listen to "should've said No".
And "picture to burn". Its really the type of song i should listen to nowdays.

By the way, merdeka i actually do have plans. I actually thought of staying home because i wanted to show him that you know i would stop hanging out with so many guys all the time but now after finding out that hes AFTER another girl, i might as well have the fun of my life. Why am i the only one grieving over something that is already down the drain and its so obvious you dont care what i do or whatever kan?Do onto others what they do to you. So im gonna have the fun of my life while you start drinking and thinking of memories you actually had with me. You know you'll never get a girl like me, no matter how hard you find baby.

-fallen angel-

♥ 8:53 AM

Friday, August 29, 2008

Selena Gomez.

Okay, kinda weird im putting her picture eh? I dont mean to be proud or perasan or whatsoever you people might call me. But alot of people seem to be telling me i look like her, except for her beautiful smile la. My smile just sucks but yeah i look like her. Haha, im so flattered in a way. Shes so adorable.

So i have't been updating lately, Dont really know what to talk about and abit the sad when i come to my blog because alot of ideas come into my head but i dont want to write anything about emo emo anymore. Because if i were to tell you what happen today, god it would be a long damn emo post. So this time im gonna keep it all in until im ready to write exactly what happen. And no im not gonna tell anyone also. Only for me to know and for me to accept the fact.

So merdeka is around the corner eh? Any plans? Nope not for me. Dont feel like going out this merdeka, dont really have that semangat spirit i used to have last time. Just too many things happen this month. I could just go out all and have a great time and just forget about everything else and just drink and drink and drink until i feel satisfied. Shafique invited me to go for his sister's friend birthday at club 21. Im thinking about it. But trials is already next week, should start becoming innocent abit, maybe God would give me a chance in trials. And yes people, dont think im that stupid just wasting my life away. I have been studying after school with jeswena and then in the evening its jogging for us. Hee, kinda weird but yeah. Oh well, nothing else to write already. Take care yeah?

I really did broke down this time.
Im sorry heart, i can't seem to do this anymore

-Fallen Angel-

♥ 12:30 AM

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Pictures from My New Camera. LOL.

At last im able to transfer all the pictures to the computer.
So if ya'll want the pictures. come take yea? hee

Pacad. *I call him CUTIE*. haha

Lily, Fatcat, Shapeq.

This was yesterday. Yes me playing pool. I lost. =(

Sorry it came out blur lilly!!

Rockstar.

Cutie. haa

My hands are big, so i couldnt put it in the middle,
so i did it that way. Still lost.

Rockstar&Pacad. hee

So i met up with someone so called CLOSE today. Hes having his first semester break now for a week. So he wanted to meet up just now, so we went to subang parade for a while. Ate KFC, went to F.O.S, buy ink for his printer. Not much la, just teman the poor SINGLE man. haha. I had to pay for the KFC. As usual, im paying for everything. He promise me he would pay me back when he gets his money. *Yea rite*. So yeah, i had fun. It was alright. Abit weird that i dont get to hold his hand or bla bla bla. But i was getting used to it. So yeah, got a picture of him.

Now hes single. Come on girls, want his number. Come to me yea? I'll give you his number aitez.
But surprisinly hes NOT looking around right now. Oh well. hehe

And dont worry anis, im alright okay? haha

Watched "Dont mess with zohan". Hahah, damn funny man that movie. So school is starting tomorrow. Their having this merdeka celebration. not sure whether want to go or not. Dont think they'll be any studying or what not. So thinking about it yeah. hmm. toodles. would write somemore tomorrow. =)

-fallen angel-

♥ 11:45 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

You know sometimes you feel like you have done you're best but its still not good enough so you hope for something good to come your way. But its never going too unless you make it happen.

People ask me "Why this time you make it sound like its really the end?.

This is why.

Sometimes you feel as though you can fix things. You can always try to make this better then before. You forgive his mistakes, you forgive his lying, you forgive his beating, his drinking, his bad flaws, his hanging out with other girls more then you. He chats with a ex girlfriend and never tells you about it. He lies when he say he loves you. All that, you push away because you always had this tiny place in your heart that tells you " Everything is gonna be fine, just have a little HOPE&FAITH". Always, im telling you. Its always gonna be there. So you start saying, yeah, lets give it one last shot, and you do it over&over again without even thinking and realizing where you actually stand your ground. Then,

As time go by, the mistakes grow even more, the lying&cheating happens occasionally, the drinking won't ever stop. And the scars won't ever fade away.

This is where i say, MY HOPE for me has gone out the window. This is where i say i want this to be the last and to be the very end. Because that tiny little spot where HOPE is all in it is not even in my dictionary anymore. I gave out too much love to the one person that i thought would be able to appreciate it. But nope, all man turn out the same sooner or later. If they dont cheat on you, they lie to you. If they dont beat you, they drink behind you. If they say they didn't do it, you sure as hell better not believe it and trust your instincts more then what a guy may say to you. How perfect he can be, you must always still believe in yourself and what your heart tells you.

And this is what i did, i listen to it. I listen carefully to what was happening around me. The worryness that i had more then him. The love that i care to share more then him. The wanting to be there for him more then he was ever there for me. I tried and tried and tried to always put HOPE as my no 1 list for all of them. But none of them ever came true. None of that " Everything would be fine" words came true. Nothing, this is why i give up on

HOPE,FAITH&LOVE.

♥ 4:03 AM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

As you can see, i went out yesterday. To asia cafe, first with my sister to 19 for a dinner, they were talking about my commercial, and well i wont get paid till next month so whatever la. I have to wait i guess. This holidays is gonna be so boring. So yeah, asye took me from 19 and we headed off to asia cafe. And yeah, lepak there for three hours, i didn't win any game of pool. Damn sad mann. Im getting worst, all my shots all lucky je as pacad said, W-T-V. haha, so yeah. after that went to silva to makan2 and then i saw fatcat's so called new handphone, so took pictures la ape lagi kan? Nahhh....

Of course me first.! =) HAHA

Me & My very very good friend shafique.
Cool kan nama dia? haa =)

I dont know la what's fatcat doing. haha

Yup, stupid shots again. haha. Shafiq won this one la weh,
Serious i couldn't stop laughing when i saw this.

Lagi2. hee

Them both. Awww, chomeylnya!

The usual, smokers. like duuuuh..

So i didn't take any pictures with asye and pacad, sebab dorang duduk depan i. So far, and i was too lazy to jump around like a mad woman and taking pictures. Dah la our table was the most noisy people like ever. So yeah, sorry tak ambik.. But i got old pictures of me and asye yang i tak letak. Lupa2. Jap, i letak skrg. hahaha.

We actually tak main foosball kan asye? ahha
Sajer je diri sane. boooddoohhzzz. hahaha

Hehehe, suka2. =D

I abit bengkok kan? Ohmygod, giler obvious.
Ala, whatever laa.

So anwyays, im gonna be missing for about 4 to 5 days i think. Because going over to my sister's house. Today is just not a good day, i hope i dont end up drunk. But i feel like drinking a whole lot, and no one is gonna stop me. Not even you, babylove. Because you just can't. I wont listen to a word you say anymore. And you told me if i do anything stupid to myself you won't forgive me and you won't ever talk to me right? Well maybe i want that to happen, so i dont mind doing it now. BUT, i wont. Im not going to put my life as a burden for my hurt now. Im just gonna lay it cool and just be happy and just try to forget about everything that ever happen to us, because it was all just B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T. I should have never listen to you're words, to you're songs, to you're sorry-ness. I should have just N-E-V-E-R listen to it. Please just leave me alone dah k. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want someone who doesn't know whether he loves me or not. I just do not want that anymore.

God, okay. i got that off my chest. Hmm, i hope this is just the right thing to do. I hope you're gonna be happy with her. She deserves you, and shes THE ONLY ONE that can make you happy. What i have done with you, what i have given you its not even enough to make you happy. So im done trying..

toodles for 5 days, take care, miss me.

Lovez xoxo.

-fallen angel-

♥ 6:37 PM