I can explain this, he was helping my mum with some wood work.
And i just took a picture of him, for fun.
I was outside, waiting for him.

College photo. He looks funny, in a way

A shirt he gave me. I asked for it.
Smells exactly like him.

Okay, I know i know, we're not together yet we're spending time with each other. How weird is that right? Oh well, whatever it is. It was our last day. And things would just move on from there. He's college life would be starting. I would be forgotten, i think. And life would move on from there. I would be sitting for my spm. Maybe some nights i'll be thinking how is he. But i promise i won't bother anymore. I'm hoping i can at least try to do it.
He deserve someone better then me. Im not perfect at all.

So, today around 6 something. He came over. I was supposed to walk to padang 5, but it was raining so i couldn't. So he said he would come for a while with his bike. So he came, and we walked to 7 11.wanted to buy slurpee, but it wasn't working, as usual. So bought ice cream instead. Walked to padang 4 for a while, hanged out there, sat down. Talked while he smoke. As usual. Then went back home. My family wasn't home yet. Shawn was sick, so my mum brought him to the clinic. Around 7.30 he left for home. & then, around 8 something, he came with his satria. With his brother & and his brother's friend. I know them, so didn't felt so sesat as i used too. Went all the way to shah alam, to take his college photo. The one you see on top. Then, went to i have no idea where but its in shah alam laa. Met up with their friend then went to the cyber cafe for a while, they played C.S or something like that. While i checked my myspace. God, it was so goddamn slow. I got fed up with it but still had the patience to wait for it to load. God, cybercafe is supposed to be like damn fast. That was the worst cybercafe ever. And it was like fulled of Rempit Man. Hahaha. That's what i call them. Anyways, moving on.

Went to this shop to makan cause he got bored playing C.S, i ate nasi goreng kampung. Mann, that was like the best nasi goreng kampung i ever tried. i felt like eating again, but didn't want too laa, later become fat as he said. He ate mee tomyam. His brother was still playing C.S upstairs for about half an hour i think. When they came down to eat, we left to the car instead. Talked again about how he's life gonna be when he goes there. He feels like he's gonna be alone. You should hear the jokes he made. Mann, they we're so funny. But i can't write here, its so complicating. Anyways, he drove all the way back home again. Send his brother home. Then he send me home. Helped my mum for the last time, hahah. Then he left also.

& while he was driving home. He put on this song, and started saying it was for me.
& until now i just dont seem to believe the words, im sorry. Its just so hard. I'm actually crying while hearing it because it really hurts to hear a song like this while you're not together. Guess he doesn't understand that. Oh well, this is the lyrics.

"kaulah segalanya - hazrul nizam"

Kau mahu bak segala
Cinta yang ku dahaga
Kehadiran dirimu
Menyinari maka semua hatiku
Kaulah segalanya
Yang menyinari hidupku kasih
Hanya satunya
Yang kucintai

Hulur tanganmu kasih
Sambut cintaku
Jangan tinggalkan daku
Seorang diri
Tak sanggup lagi dilukai

Maafkan daku
Jika salahku
Peristiwa yang pernah ku alami dulu
Aku tahu betapa pahitMu
menerima sejarah hidupku

Kaulah segalanya
Yang menyinari hidupku kasih
Hanya satunya
Yang kucintai
Sambutlah cintaku

Jangan kau pergi dari sisiku
Cintaku padamu
Ikhlas sejati
Cintaku padamu
Ikhlas sejati

Okay, that's the song. And when i first heard it, it felt heartwarming. But after listening to it over&over again. I felt sad, deep inside me. Because the lyrics seems so different. But i'm glad the song is for me.

-fallen angel-

"Im trying to not wish for you"