4th-8th Of july.
Ive been missing because of this reasons.
Family problems, commercial, arts project, depression & Partying

Yeah, i've been missing because of that. Even to school also, I stayed over at my sisters house on sunday, didn't have time to come back home on monday. So didn't go to school, then tuesday. I woke up early, i swore i woke up early, But i saw it was raining so damn heavy and i'm already having fever, so i couldn't risk it. And slept back again. My arts project is getting better by the day. I've been paying alot of attention on it. 4 hours straight not doing anything else except the arts project. But i still can't goddamn well design my own handphone. I'm not that good in drawing and stuff like that. oh well, i'll figure it out soon enough. Just hope when i pass it up at least i can pass.

SPM is around the corner. And it only hit me like this weekend like what would my life be if i failed almost everything. Even BM i failed for goodness sake. God, i'm that stupid aren't i? I just wish i had my dad's genes sometimes. Maybe then i would be as smart as him. He's a lecturer for goodness sake. And he got a daughter like me. I'm so sure he'll be so damn proud. Not. Even though i miss school almost all the time. I seem to be TRYING to study at home. I can't understand a word teacher teaches in school. Either i dont pay any attention at all. Or i'm just too shy to even say "I dont understand teacher". Cause i know if she/he would teach me, i would still not understand. She/he Is gonna be thinking "God, how stupid can she be?". Yeah.. Oh well, whatever laa. Wherever life takes me i just have to go through it. SPM failed then ill just have to pick up myself all the time.

He's going to college on thursday. Today would be the last time we're meeting up. And well hope its memorable. Nothing fancy. Maybe just go for a drive around subang. Our relationship/friendship is like so disfunctional. Okay, stupid way to put it. But yeah, the love is still there or whatever we call it. But we're not gonna do anything about it. Cause we know where it will always end up. It's usually quite easy for me to walk out when you want me too. But this time i just dont know why i can't do it. And he cant too. Its either i'll run back, or he would. And he NEVER runs back, trust me i know. But with me, he was different. He's someone i've never known. And i'm learning to just be there for him when he wants me too.
He's on the way home from Johor, Muar now. He went there with his brother&uncle to get some stuff. its' been 4 days since i've seen him. The loneliness is driving me crazy. I'm excited but never get my hopes too high, i'll always crash down. I know myself too well.

Oh well, that's it i guess.

"I just wish you would say you miss me too"

-fallen angel-