I can't sleep.

So im writing a post on how im gonna move on with my life. Its gonna be hard i know. But i'm fed up reading through messages and not even one message is a message where i would read it all over again. This time, im the one trying so hard and im just getting hurt all the time. I go into my room at night and just cry while hearing songs that reminds me of the past. Yeah i know, its kinda stupid right? Still crying nowdays. But yeah i do. I need to do other things to keep my mind off. Since holidays is starting and my dance team is going to be MADE, guess that can keep my mind off things. Im getting really lazy with life and relationships and going out with guys, and throwing yourself out there so you can get some attention. Yeah, im fed up of doing that. That's why i just want to find the one. But im not gonna wait for it. Since its not coming from him, i rather just be alone. Just like him.

Im gonna miss the days where i can call him when i'm having problems with my mum. Im gonna miss him when i need someone to accompany me to the padang or wherever. Im gonna miss messaging him and seeing his laugh. These things are all meant to be miss. But i know im gonna lose it one day, why not just start now. I know i'm gonna regret doing this. I seriously do. But i might regret if i continue without getting any hope on this at all.

The tears are gonna be pouring from time to time. The love is gonna be missing from time to time. The feeling of wanting to be there for that person is gonna come from time to time. But i can't do this anymore. I can't get hurt again from a person i truly love. I won't do that to myself anymore. Love urself before loving others. I should put that to mind. I hope this goes all well.
Im sorry. I know you'll be happier without me. Im making this harder for us. And yeah, this is it.

Im done throwing myself and getting nothing in return,fyi.

-fallen angel-