I have 13 more hours to finish my moral project. I have done some.
But my kerja amal, haven't took any pictures at all.
I dont know how i'm gonna explain to teacher tomorrow.

Worst2worst, She'll call my mother, hee.
My mum would talk to her and yada yada so anyways,
I hope i'll get that done by today. Hoping so badly,
and trying to be able to take pictures of helping the environment. haa.

People come up to me nowdays and ask why am i so antisocial. Why i don't hang out with a bunch of friends at school. Why i don't seem to socialize around and look happy

Why am i always so emo at school?
Well its because i wanna be that way. I wanna be the loner, I dont cause any problems, and people don't make problems with me also.

Some people ask me why is my name " fallen angel"

I've been wondering that question since like two weeks ago and i think now i know,

Im not being perasan or whatever, But seriously before im much more innocent then i am now. Im the kinda girl that doesn't talk shit, im the kinda girl where when its my problem then i help, if its not. You're problem you deal with it yourself. But now i tend to masuk campur in everyone's problem. Maybe it is my fault, maybe its not. But im becoming a bitch. The more i go on with this attitude, i will become the biggest bitch in the world. That's why now i just stand my ground. I fought with my bestfriend so i can be alone. I don't recess with anyone close, because i don't want the "bestfriend that has to be there for you ALL THE TIME"

I hate that definition. Im a eurasian. We eurasian usually cna't stick with that one person like all the time. I mean boyfriend and girlfriend is a different thing. But friends, we can't always see each other, we can't always hang out with each other. We would feel damn annoyed by that person after a while. Seriously, we are like that.

And i dont even have a problem with being a loner, like my dad said

I thought i knew her, end up i didn't know anything about her, I thought she was the one that i can look up to, the one that i would meet up after school, the one that i can go recess with and have a million things to talk about, the one that would back me up no matter what, wrong or not wrong, still be there for me, the one that i can tell everything to and not feel so embarassed that i just said something like that outloud to my bestfriend, That kinda girl. But end up, didn't know who the hell she was. Until i realize, bestfriends are just there when they are needed. I mean from my experience la, from yours i wouldn't know. But mine, yeah, bestfriends are just there for the time being, when LIFE starts, are they gonna be there to help? especially when now its school time. You don't want to go through your school life, knowing you didn't meet any bestfriends, the one you can count on, So you tend to stick to one person. For me, i don't feel that way. School is just school. You meet the same person everyday.
Sometimes they would be the best to you, sometimes they won't.
ITS JUST THAT, NOTHING ELSE.

There is this girl i knew, she was the biggest bitch in the world. At one point, i felt like going to her house, and just fighting with her, for no reasons also. At one point, i felt like calling her up and calling all sorts of names. At one point, i felt like killing her. At one point, i felt like even killing myself so i wouldn't have the burden of having a bitch like her on my shoulders all the time. Then...........

Time passes, not because she broke up or whatever, but because we tend to see each other in so many ways, We hated each other like a hell lot, this is not a normal bitchy conversation. This is those conversation where we would end up killing each other. We always wanted to know what was happening with each other's life. We were obsessed at one time, Not only her. Me too. Again, time passes. End up, i am proud to call her one of my goodfriends, The one that i would message when im bored. The one where when i have nothing to do, maybe just give a comment. Yes, thats the kinda friendship we had. Everyone comes up to me and say how can you forgive a person that did something that almost ruined your life. And all i can say is, its life. I can't expect to hold a grudge on her forever, and i can't expect to always remember her as the bitch.
I rather just forgive and forget. We are the same anyways, Correct? haaa

I have no right to write anything about her, seriously. Cause i dont even know her that well. But do you know how it feels like to have everyone hating you at one point, hating looking at you, hating being in the same class as you, hating what you do, hating your "voice". haa. Anyways, yeah i realize usually innocent girls end up being the most biggest bitches in school. Because they have been innocent their whole life, they think to themselves
" why not i do something that would steal everyone's attention"

Of course, they would do the most stupidest things,
to think that they stole EVERYONE'S attention.
Well its everyone's attention you stole alright, only not good comments are coming back. Well, whatever it is. Again, its life i guess. You tend to do stupid things when the time is not right, thinking the whole world revolves around you, well FYI! it doesnt.

Last i can say is Life?

Its not like the movies. not at all.

-fallen angel-