~Fallen Angel~

2009-08-20T00:13:00.002+08:00

Yes, of course the blog is a freedom of speech blog, you can write whatever you feel.

But i'd really appreciate it if you just not put pictures and not relate my boyfriend to all your problems. he's not the reason your emo. its your current ex. if you didn't notice larr.

I am not angry, not causing problems. but i just want you to know i dont like what you're doing and you better fix it. please and thank you.

Okay, i'm finally done with this drama, i think.

Sorry people for all the weird words and freakishly mean words. Just some problems that might be overcome already. Will be back on my new blog soon.

-fallen angel-

2009-08-08T04:13:00.003+08:00

Hello,

Fallenangelsdramaz is going off soon.

yeay! i'm finally changing my blog url. yes yes.

please dont ask me why, i have my own reasons.

and the next blog will be PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL due to some people that cannot see happiness and cannot read about stories about them or whatever, not like i ever talk about other people except my boyfriend and close friends. hee hee.

Want to read? please give me your email on my chatterbox, dont want to read, then die.jk

whatever it is, this beloved blog of mine will shut down on 10th of july 2009.
And will be moving to

na,ah,ah

i'll tell you where i'll be moving to on your chatterbox. muah muah.

and zip it and shut up and dont tell the whole world about this, our little dirty secret

oh yeaaaaaa, before i go,,

its.
.
.
.
.
.

MICHELLE LEE SUET LING 18TH BIRTHDAY TODAY.
*youre finally almost legal, but then you've been into most clubs already so you're just boring,haha*

love you and have a great day and dont get too drunk and yeah. muah muah

And sorry no picture of both of us, computer rebooted. happy birthday.

2009-08-07T22:45:00.003+08:00

Men with their promises

There are two men in this world. One that keep their words when they say “I will be home at 10 pm and there are two, that don’t keep their words when they say “I promise I will be home at 10 pm”

Unfortunately, my boyfriend falls in (number 2). How sad for me right?

I am a girl they call paranoid *ifollowaftermydad&mum*, when something goes wrong, I need to fix it at that moment, at that time, because I do not want the problem to keep on flying around in my head, and just wait around for the day where we actually talk about it. That’s not me. And one more thing I abs-most-hate is men not keeping their words.

I have heard all this before, my whole life.
↓

I will be there in 10 minutes, *after 20 minutes, anyone to be seen? NO!*
I promise after my assignment is done, I will go back home straight * after 2 am, I call, and all I can hear is guys talking very loud, is that how men do their assignment? I don’t think so!*
I’m on my way to your place, count to 10. * Count to 60 seconds also, no one is at my door!!*
I promise I won’t make you cry like this ever again. * oh this is the jackpot alright, when men tell you this, dream on and believe that would actually come true, no men would never make you cry at least once in your lifetime of being together*

And I have so much more, but I don’t want to make the men feel like the only bad person on earth right? Yes, girls do it too. We don’t keep to our promises because we do not make promises. You get it? When you know and you think to yourself maybe I won’t be there in 10 minutes, then DON’T SAY YOU’RE GONNA BE THERE IN 10 MINUTES. Is it so freaking hard to think before you actually speak?

Now, I’ve been down this road, too many times to count, I’ve waited more then 4 hours when its supposed to only be 1 hour. I’ve cried and cried and cried because of promises broken. I just wish one day I can walk down another path of this road.

"And, i got back my internet,this is why i'm blabbing, sorry =("

2009-08-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

It was weird, but it was fun.

Haven't hang out like that in a long time.

I miss you, but i just shut up, i like the way you treated me,
but its only when you're drunk.

how perfect can that be?

oh well.

-fallen angel-

"very busy now, and am getting sick"

2009-07-30T16:11:00.002+08:00

Run - Snow Patrol

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Away from here

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower

We don't have time for that

All I want is to find an easier way

To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear

We're bound to be afraid

Even if it's just for a few days

Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

This song, means alot. It has alot of meaning. good ones and bad ones. but hearing it makes me happy, even though its much on the negative side. anyways, listen to it when you have the time, any mistakes and regrets, this is the song for you. loves.

-fallen angel-

Its sickens me why i still love you.

2009-07-27T15:02:00.002+08:00

Nothing to talk about, much.

Just some pictures to make you smile. =)

College today had only one class, one hour. Now, waiting for ze boyfriend to fetch me. I'm at media hub, ling ling introduce me to this place, i'm using MAC OS X. Freaking big monitor, looks like a tv. Anyways, yeah. that's it. got nothing much to blabber about. loves..

Officially a TAYLOR'S STUDENT. =)

Sean Kingston at shout awards, best night ever.

Me and ze boyfriend at subang parade elevator. Yes, nothing else to do.

Food at kenny rogers. Bill was paid seperately, surprisingly. =)

He loves this one.. =)

And i love you..

over and over again, i fall for the crap. Sometimes i wish i can really walk out. but i need mutual decision. i NEED decision from both side. but who are we kidding? We're never gonna break up, sometimes its a good thing. but at times, its bad. Not say i don't like our relationship. I love you and we. But i'm getting fed up.. really.. honestly.. am..

But i'm nothing without you.

This is what you call

Complicating relationship.

Slow.

2009-07-24T13:02:00.003+08:00

Today, the library internet connection is abit slow. Its frustrating of course.

I had kitchen practical just now, learn to on the stove and stuff like that. Can't wait to finally cut food and veggies and fruits. Why am i so excited? no idea.

I hate waiting for the next class to start, i've been in the library for 4 hours now, and i'm dying in here. 1 hour 30 minutes to go, then i can go home.

yeah, its weekends.

Sleep. Read. Eat. Clean My Room. Research. Projects. Yes, now i'm busy.

-fallen angel-

Somewhere new.

2009-07-22T12:26:00.001+08:00

So, i'm at college now. The oh so fabulous library with internet.

It's cool. I have no idea why, maybe i'm new to this. All the library i've been to don't have internet. So yeah. Classes are getting intensive abit. I already have a i.t group project. Sumbit in 8 weeks. Have to do a website, brochure about Hilton hotel. So me and my team, are doing Singapore Hilton Hotel. Can't wait to get started on that.

BM & Malaysian studies is 3 hours per class. Mygod, i can die. But nevermind. BM there is already easy easy homework that my boyfriend can't even do, its quizzes and its very complicating.

I'm eager for next week.. At least some people i know would be around.

I already did my thyphoid injection, it does not hurt, and everyone is acting as though they had a hot needle went through their veins or something. Whatever.

I have friends, but not much. As usual, i dont stick with one group. I linger from here to there. So its abit lonely sometimes. And of course, guys are my friends first. Never girl. No idea why.

That's it. Nothing much going on. My house has no internet so its hard to blog. Oh well, write when i can. Loves.

-fallen angel-

2009-07-19T15:17:00.002+08:00

College starts at 12 tomorrow.

Yes, still freaking out. Even orientation was scary. People came up to me and ask me whether i was chinese, i didn't know how to say i was mix, thinking people might think i'm too "poyo" or something.. So i said, eurasian, And they didn't understand as usual. So i said i'm mix.. I think some wanted to ask what am i mix with? The guys especially.. But i walked off.

I'm scared. I dont like meeting new people when i'm the one that has to start new conversations. If friends introduce me to someone then i don't mind. Yeah, anyways, my course there is 19 people if i'm not mistaken. 4 girls, The others guys. Mygod, that's sad.

Nevermind.

So i didn't go the second and third day of orientation cause i had a bbq for my stepfather and jack's so called birthday since i didn't celebrate cause no money, so that day was the day, and i surprised him by bringing his friends. The cake was a total bummer. Its hard to keep a 8th year old boy mouth SHUT! Before the cake came out, he started shouting. "GOT CAKE! GOT CAKE!"
So yeah, at least it lasted 5 hours of him not knowing.

Thanks eshia for staying over yesterday because of all the problems

Thanks Ling For the Support of college life.

Thanks que for sending me back home. =)

Thanks mummy for holding me back from jumping off the balcony, kononnya.

And thanks to duche for protecting me when i was alone at home.

I'm thankful for alot of things.

And especially to my dad, who still believe that i can do well with my education and gave me a chance in college. I will not let you down. I can assure you.

Time Passes By

2009-07-13T00:47:00.005+08:00

Time is not a friend of mine now.

Time is going fast, and college is starting, and alot of people are telling me how hard it is going to be, how everything you have to do is on your own now, no more back up, no more skipping, no more relaxing, this is YOUR life now, what you want, what you need, and what would happen.

And its

FREAKING.

ME.

OUT.

What would you do if the angel of death came to you in your dreams and said you only have 12 hours to live, what would you do with your life then?

Would you say sorry to all your friends that you have hurt in your past?

Would you have one last night of lusting love with your boyfriend or husband?

Would you tell your mum & dad how much you love them?

Who is the real important person to you?

Is it a person who brought you into this world, or a person that taught you how to be strong, or the person that never failed to make you smile even when the rain is as stormy as the sea.

Who would you choose?

"I never said thank you for that"

Promod.

2009-07-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

"My Off Day Is Tomorrow"

Yet, i'm still so sleepy and i need to sleep now, and yeah, i'll blog tomorrow i think

-I hope you're alright, i miss you-

-fallen angel-

T-I-R-E-D

2009-07-05T01:23:00.002+08:00

I.AM.TOO.TIRED.TO.BLOG.TODAY.

So, pictures say it all and upcoming pictures soon of the day to sungei wang and eshia sayang birthday party.

Joei says "sexy lips"

I say " this is a once in a lifetime picture, i can never do this again"

*Sorry abit blur, stupid chicken rice shop employee"

Gaga, Pikachu, Eshia? o.O

Lol.

-fallen angel-

25. 06. 09

2009-06-28T01:58:00.003+08:00

Didn't have time to do this on the day itself.

The King Of Pop Is Gone.

It's still quite hard to hit me in my head, we are hearing his songs everywhere, radio over and over again, mamak's playing his old live concerts, its just too unbelievable. Sometimes i am mad at myself for forgetting who he truly was. When you tend to listen to his songs suddenly out of no where, it showed you how much he made a difference in the world. God, i can't believe he's gone. I grew up with his songs, all of us did, no one can ever hate him.

If he got killed because someone sabotage him cause of his comeback tour, i hope you burn in hell.

But if he died peacefully and god wants him to be next to god, i would pray and ask for god to take care of him very much and hope he lives a peaceful life.

I already miss him, and what he was to us before.

Rest In Peace Michael Jackson, We would always rmbr you deep in our hearts.

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

-fallen angel-

Work

2009-06-23T04:43:00.003+08:00

I just woke up, two hours ago. Reach home after my morning shift at ten, because i had to follow friends home, if i had a car! i would have left way earlier then that and get my beauty sleep.

Didnt know working can be so tiring again, not used to getting up early. But i love my working mates, its fun. Time went pretty quick, maybe not tomorrow cause some of them having their off day, but oh well.

Boyfriend is staying in this apartment with his friends because his finals are starting this thursday, so he needs to focus and with me there all the time, he just wants me and he doesn't want to do anything else, so yeah, i make him lazy, i'm sorry. I miss him, alot.

My bestfriend is leaving to perak, i'm gonna miss her alot too, i can't even imagine 3 years without her, even 3 months, i dont know who to call to go out anymore, i dont know who to help me anymore, she's like the best among all, shes so hip, she's so fun, Just sayang her and will rindu her so much But studies is studies, studies always comes first. I'll see her from time 2 time.

Wanted to write a emo post about a a-hole i once knew, but too lazy. And too tired.

What else?

Another 6 days, and its One Year Four Months. That's shockingly long, i didn't know we can end up here. I'm just happy. Very very happy.

You Jealous, Loser?

-FallEn AnGel-

2009-06-21T19:13:00.003+08:00

You're in the hospital, which of your friends would come and visit you?
Defenitly Eshia, For sure. The rest, im not very sure.

Does a kiss make you feel better?
Of course it does.

Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
Not boyfriends, scandals yeah. who doesn't at one point of their life

Ever been in love?
still am.

Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
hate being single, so permanent relationship

Do you know how to use chop sticks?
yeap.

Who was the last person you couldn't take your eyes off of?
The Lead Man Of Transformers 2 & 1. He's my husband, we have a house together. LOL

Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
Alcohol, no i'm not a alcoholic.

Have you ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
nope. i think

What does love mean to you?
Love means trust, trust means honesty, honesty means everything. =) lol

Do you have a Valentine this year?
Yeap, but nothing special.

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
yes, i love him

What is or was the best part about being single?
hanging out, i miss it honestly, but i'm getting there soon even when i have a boyfriend..

Do you believe in love at first sight?
yeah. ;)

French kiss, good or bad?
good. love it. =)

Ever kiss on the first date?
nope.. i dont take things that quick. ;)

Would you rather have a fun flirting or a long lasting relationship?
depends where i am.

What was your longest relationship?
now. going into 1 year 4 months in another 8 days, ;)

Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
naaah, just have fun.. hee

When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
When he's out.

Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
Nope. made that mistake before. it sucks.

Who would you count on to ....

1) Make you smile?
Everyone Actually. Except the bastard.

2) Make you laugh?
Always always always will be him and "Nick Carter"

3) Be the most perverted?
?? ohhhh. lol. thevanesh?

4) Be your shoulder to cry on?
Eshia, My Love.

5) Do something stupid with you?
Eshia Kar Mun Yogendran.

6) Hurt you the most?
You fuckhead loser. Eshia knows who. lol.

Eshia eshia eshia, everything is about eshia, i hate you bitch for making me love you so much! lol

"going for a bbq in anissa's house for iffah's, she's going to uitm perak soon. I'm gonna miss her, she's my hang out buddy, i love her to bits, so so so much"

Oh btw, did i tell you? I'm working tomorrow, with that fucking chindian bitch, haha. Promod needs one extra girl so yeah, i'm the best for the job because i'm outgoing, got experience and eshia sayang me. Cehhh.. But yeah, just work for some extra money for college, financial problems are getting worst, i hate seeing people that think money is nothing, fuck you go to hell.

Anyway, toodles.

-fallen angel-

2009-06-20T21:17:00.003+08:00

Hard.

It’s hard when you know something you don’t want to know.

Its hard when you find out something that you didn’t know could happen again

It’s hard when you know your best friend is changing and you can’t do anything.

It’s hard when you say something out from your heart, and no one hears it.

It’s hard when you do something really bad and know you’re going to regret later.

It’s easy to hurt someone but not easy to heal It again.

I have done something very wrong,

I prayed to god and asked for his forgiveness for hurting a god’s given body.

I never knew I would be at this road again, thanks to you.

I was a total different person.

You were the same person as before, that I thought would not ever.happen.again.

New Things.

2009-06-19T02:49:00.004+08:00

Someone got a new drum set today, no not him, me!

lol.

for what also i do not know. oh yeah, my mum is making a band, how effing cool right?

MY MUM IS MAKING A OLD AGE BAND!

*o.o*

Oh well, i like the drumss.. =D

& as usual, someone has to bang it at 12 30 in the farking morning. Nvm.

The bigger speakers haven't been up yet.

And the bass, the guitarist not here. His guitar is like so damn cool!

& a weird picture of me so you can laugh, this is me just getting up from bed. At 4 in the afternoon. whaaaaaaattttt? i love my sleep. =D

& this is a very nice picture of me. muahahaha.

"FARKING RESTAURANT CITY CAN'T WORK. PISSING ME OFF!"

2009-06-16T04:31:00.004+08:00

Found some old pictures never knew it still exist.

Oh well,

This was because i was bored and wanted to check out my new webcam. =D

I know i look like one of those new high school girls that are just about to start the most adventurous lifestyle, oh well, im going to college soon, things doesn't get better.

Webcam with sayang. =)

"Okay okay, i go to sleeep!"

2009-06-15T03:36:00.003+08:00

Baby's Birthday.

Not very good pictures because i was buzy chit chatting and didn't have time to take picture so the only one was these ones. But i did a powerpoint for him, he likes it. Happy Happy Me. Sorry la, dont have money to buy for him anything. But i did buy for him this shirt that he wanted, expensive okay!.

He's happy he's perfect body is building up now. God, guys with their muscles, its like girls with their shopping. Have to get what they want to satisfy them. Don't i satisfy you enough? Okay, that sounds wrong.. Anyway, this is the top i bought for him from adidas..

This was at pizza hut, where he was using fork and knife surprisingly, look how hard he's trying to be matsaleh! hahah

Caped. Feeling Full already. Pizza hut is so dumb, they give you drinks and then the soup and then the breadstick, by the time the pizza come, you would be damn full already, so its like wasting mann? Nevermind. Caped paid most of it, thanks caped! haa

This was after shisha with them in castle. Nice. Shisha shisha, i love shisha.

Oh,did i tell you i got a new phone? LG cookie, Yes im a sucker for LOW GRADE, call me stupid i dont care. I loveeee this phone. Boyfriend jealous. =))

This is old pictures from eshia's phone, forgot to post them up so here it is.

Boobs utterly big, its weird.

Doing it ESHIA style! hahaha Big Golf Ball Eyes!

This was an offguard picture, gonna get braces soon. =(

Sisters. My mum wants to adopt her, its okay. We already look alike anyways. haha,

I sayang eshia like i sayang shisha.

HAHAHA

I'm done. Tired. -fallen angel-

The week & weekend-er

2009-06-11T01:18:00.006+08:00

So the changes in me, not very proud of it, nor am i sad of it, It kinda hurts when you do something new yet people say it sucks or they miss my old hair and stuff like that but what to do, i already asked you people's opinion and you can actually say it should be nice, and when i do it, you all say, i can't believe you did it for real. Oh well. What's done is done. I hate when people kutuk me, its not nice. =( But nevermind have some other people that cheers me up.

Before, Had this haircut since i was in form 3 i think?

And the new Nicoley.
=)

This is my dad's school. Its much bigger then this actually, this is just the front.

The building behind is his chemistry laboratory.

Our first picture together.

This plane is so cool! Look at the tail!
hahahah

Was pretty much bored, air asia is very very sempit, its annoying.

In the plane. Love this picture, was about to reach =)

When i reach home. =)

Miss My doggy and the annoying brat!

Alert, alert, NERD FREAKS ON THE WAY!!
=D

So, today. Eshia decided to buy chicken and vegetable to cook for me and my mum because some problem happened yesterday and i fought with my mother, and my mother was angry with her, we are somewhat like a family now and eshia is my bigger dumb blonde sister =) HAHAHHA

Just keep squishing, squishing!

Tadaaaa. It taste better then it looks.
Trust me

Wee, i haven't eaten it yet actually, going too soon. hope i dont die. =)

Anyways, i'll be off now, very tired.

In my heart, i'll never forget the 3 duos..

2009-06-09T02:23:00.013+08:00

China.

Don't want to elaborate on alot of things just that the experience thought me how to actually take care of myself and be confident in life, that's always a lesson from my dad and i love him very much. pictures are up on facebook. =)

Awit's Birthday. Jack's Brother. =)

Twins can be bestfriend too right? lol ;)

We were Bored. =)

Foosball. Damn long never play d.
Nicoley

She was posing and acting like she was playing, when she was

NOT!

One day, if i do decide to be a photographer for my hobby or something, eshia would be my first model then she would be my manager, but first, i have to make her brains from windows 97 to XP or something like that. =))))

I dont hate you, i never hated you, but i hate what you've become and this has been going long enough then when it first started, so im not lying anymore. Its done. I shouldn't be apart of your life anymore, since i can never fix things and i dont really know you that well anymore. So its okay, you dont have to take care of me. Goodbye.

I love you baby.

-I'm back-

Flights.

2009-05-22T04:29:00.002+08:00

Hello.

By the time you read this, i think i'll be on a plane off to swine flu land, (china). Will be there for two weeks, visiting my father for college payments, he doesn't want to send that much money to malaysia, scared it might end up in timbucktwo. So i'll be spending two weekends there, scarrrryyy, Daddy says there's a indoor swimming pool next door, oh, i can't wait to go there daddy, serrrious! LOL. I'm so sarcastic. Okay, read below.

Eshia, im gonna miss you, dont worry time will fly very very fast, its only two weeks not two years, don't worry. I sayang you and will miss you very much and i hope i hear good news about the man in your life, please dont hurt urself or kill urself. control the outcome of your life sayang. Love ya very very much.

Lesbo, I sayang you very much too, after your exams please go back to books, no more clubbing clubbing cause you dont have me anymore, N-O-B-O-D-Y goes clubbing without MUUUUAAA. Lol. So yeah, i hope i don't hear any bad news from you whatever so ever, Going to miss you very much and thanks for following me to the airport. =)

Ze Boyfriend, I love you, you know i love you very much, i'm gonna trust you even though its very very hard, but im gonna trust you and i'm gonna miss you a whole lot. Love you so much baby.

In another 12 hours, i'll be in china land, lol. =)

I won't be able to blog because there cannot read i tried it already so yeah. will miss everyone.. muuuuaaaahhhhhhhhhhxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.........

-fallen angel-

2009-05-19T01:57:00.002+08:00

**~**EsHiA**~** says:
eh you online
Nicole *angel* says:
yes watching house
u?
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
im online
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
damn bored la
what you up to
lol
Nicole *angel* says:
fucking my boyfriend
lol
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
owh
really
why no noise wan
Nicole *angel* says:
because sound proof around u maaaaaaaaa
lol
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
owh
i can hear house from here
damn nice ah the show??
Nicole *angel* says:
yes very very nice. very very cool la. hahah, i can see you wearing man u shirt, u rock socks! lol
Nicole *angel* says:
why la u so sleepy? i heard u said u were sleepy.
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
cannot sleep
damn damn
come and sleep with me la
lol
Nicole *angel* says:
i wonder sometimes whether u bi or not?
lol
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
OMMMMMGGGGGG
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
IM SO STRAIGHT LA BLOODY FUCK
Nicole *angel* says:
r u sure?
have u checked?
hahaha
**~**EsHiA**~** says:
LET ME SEEE
IM STILL SITTING DOWN
AND NOT RAPING YOU

yeah im striaght

This was halfway through the conversation, until she left to the kitchen. Lol. She was in my house by the way using my computer while i used my laptop. How sad right? So nothing much happen today except this. Oh well. I'm gonna blog on my private blog. toodles.

-fallen angel-

2009-05-18T00:42:00.004+08:00

It's not arrange properly, The end is on top so yeah.
Barclub @ Heritage Row.

The excitement of the day,
Michelle won the best skanky school girl dress, got a bottle of champagne free. Jack got tipsy because he downed champagne, and michelle didn't get to touch it also, and eshia got grab by to many guys to count and she was the first to go down from the finalist of skanky school girls. Lol.
That was surprising.

Jack wearing my glasses. Nerd I know.

Me & Ling dancing on the stage thingy nearby the dancefloor.

Dj monkey rocking the house, he still has the best songs.

Me, Jack, Ling, Champagne, Will.i.am

Had to show off moves for 4 seconds. Michelle.

This is my total outfit. Weird i know.

Eshia.

Ling, she bought the skirt on that day itself, RM65. lol

Mamak session.

Jack On the pole. He sticks there.

Three mama cias. No idea what that means.

My 4 seconds. =)

Eshia's 4 seconds.

Me & Eshia.

Three of us before the dancing started.

Ling & Will.i.am.

-fallen angel-

Thoughts

2009-05-17T04:46:00.005+08:00

I'm in my room.
Laptop on top of me while its charging, freaking hot.

Nothing much to write since eshia haven't uploaded the barclub pictures. It was a fun day. My boyfriend got abit tipsy because he downed champagne, and you know you should never ever down champagne, its like downing wine, and wine is much more worst then any liquor *since someone realized my mistake, i change it* in the world, but yeah, he did it and so i had to sober him up by making him laugh with stupid stupid jokes at the mamak. It worked alright. Anything can make him laugh anyways. =)

The boyfriend was supposed to sleep over today since its my last weekend here, but he says tomorrow, so nevermind, tomorrow it shall be. I just came home, hunged out with que, lily, caped just now. Arrived at some cc at 15, watched them play games then headed off to ac, lost in foosball and pool, god, i hate you que, i swear to god im gonna cut off your hands one day!!

Another story, i dont mind hanging out with ur "girl" friends and your close to them and you barely pay any attention to me cause its been so long since you met them and stuff like that, but please bare in my mind how i can be when im angry or not in the mood, you should know my mood swings, and you should take care of me FIRST, before thinking about anyone else, or not why would i even be there next to you? Better i hang out with my mother.. She's more cooler then anyone else around.. Just want to point out some things that are bothering my mind.

I miss you but you don't care.
Its okay, as usual, im hurting but i choose not to show it.

Must be wondering why i haven't sleep yet right? Oh well, my sleeping hours are totally off nowdays.. Sleeping when people are awake, and awake when people are asleep. Its tiring but i.can't.sleep!. I dont even know why i can't just close my eyes and sleep!

I'm not really happy with Manchester United toda, because they only won because they were home, i think they should have had at least one goal, won't look like such a loser then but what to do, still am a fan of MANCHESTER.UNITED and forever will be. I guess im'ma gonna watch some youtube now.

-Fallen Angel-

Barclub

2009-05-15T20:05:00.002+08:00

Barclub @ Heritage row,
jalan doraisamy tonight.

Gonna be there rocking with the best skanky school clothes and the best clubbing girlfriends in the world and ze boyfriend, which is the coolest, because he allows me to dance on the bar? o.O

Hahaha, so yeah will be there, invited my friends since today is the last weekend i'll be here, but no one that excited or important for them to leave everything for me, its okay, no probs, im used to it baby..

See ya soon with pictures.

Loves.

Random

2009-05-11T04:56:00.003+08:00

Just some of my projects that i put together. Hard Work Pays Off.

You know you can't live without friends.

And you can't live without that special companion that is there every minute of the way and striving you to be the best you can be in everything that you do.

Not forgetting yourself, the person that needs to believe to give the best outcome in life. To stay in line and to be strong, never fall down, never go to high, be as ordinary as you can to be the best human in your lifetime

And of course, to the mother you brought you into this world. Fed you, Stuck through everything, the first person you tell everything too, the first person that would help no matter what, the first person that is there with you through up and downs. I'm sorry mother that i didn't bring you for the best meals in the country or the best mother and daughter day out. But know that i love you, and dont worry we have a surprise for your birthday. Three sisters, at last getting together, this is gonna be for the best. Yes, my mother's birthday is in another 3 more days, how tiring is it to have a mother's day gift and also a present. But she doesn't like her birthday that much because it reminds her of how old she is, but no matter what, she's still young as ever and i love you mum.

Yours Sincerely, Nicole Aldeth Main

No title.

2009-05-09T11:40:00.002+08:00

So, im up.

Mum woke me up cause she wanted to tell a story about the lady that is renting the room downstairs, i get her room! yeay! Always wanted that room. Because she's not willing to payRM200. Is RM200 that much? Come on, economy dropping okay, other people need money too.

So, im leaving to china soon. 22 MAY 2009 people!. No one wanna visit me first? Cehh, so full of myself, i know no one would bother come visit me. I'm particially scared because of the swine flu but my dad said we won't be getting out of the house so i'll just be stuck at home. After i come back which is 6th of june, going to get enrolled in Taylor's University College.

Scary

But what to do? Have to go to college someday. Can't be mopping at home all the time, that's what my dad told me.

I'm just here to remind i have another blog ya know? but its private, so please ask me if you want to see it, yea?

and also to a girl that has a barbie doll haircut bangs, please do not go back with the asshole. please i beg you. he has done too many bad things, one good thing won't fix things as they were, please dont be stupid once again E. Love ya much.

Thats about it.

Fallen Angel

2009-05-09T01:05:00.003+08:00

Today was rather surprising hanging out with ze boyfriend.

Conversation.

: I'll bring you to a&w if only you answer me 5 questions, honestly.

J.A : Okay sayang, what is it?

N.M:Why after 7 times breaking up, you suddenly dont want to feel like breaking up anymore?

J.A: Because i dont feel like breaking up anymore, im too lazy to fight with you

o.O

N.M: okay, next question. Was i the rebound for .....

Just when i was about to finish the question

J.A: I already know what you're gonna say and its no, she was the rebound for you.

N.M: Why do you love me?

J.A: Is there any reasons anymore? I love, i love la, you want me to stop loving you is it?

LOL

N.M : Will you miss me when i go to china?

J.A : No, i'll be hanging out and lepaking and going out with girls and throwing bachelor parties and drinking and making out, b jangan la fkir bukan bukan all the time, of course la i will miss you, jangan bawak balik babi flu sudah..

Come on la b, jom la gie makan a&w, so yeah, we went there and talked more stupid stuff and came home, and now im here.

Weird conversation i know, but it was enough to make me smile. hehe. I sayang you banyak2.

-Fallen Angel-

2009-05-07T03:44:00.004+08:00

I told you i'll be back soon to talk about the victory of my Manchester United Babies.

Manchester United 3 - 1 Arsenal.

Yes, i'm a die hard fan of manchester united. How much my boyfriend hates manchester united, i'm one of them. And no, i didn't become their fan just because ronaldo is hot, i was always a manchester united fan, just never really watch all the time. I mean i'm a girl, i got better things to do, but when machester united plays, i try my best to be there for my husband.

Cristiano Ronaldo dos santos aveiro

I. WILL. MARRY. HIM. ONE. DAY. IN HEAVEN.

Told you, by the way, my baby boy bought for me the jersey, how cool is that? He used his own money and bought me something he didn't like.. AWW, so sweet. I wear it to all of my husband's game. i'm so full of myself
.

And, you can never mess with jack when he's watching football, this was the first 15 minutes when J.S Park Scored, he was piiiiiiissssssssssssssseeeeeeeeedddddddddd off right eshia?

So she was my date for the night since my boyfriend to in the game and getting angry much more when manchester united scores, i just stayed away as much as i can. lol. The most funniest conversation

Eshia : First, i choose to support arsenal, now i change to manchester united la

"The camera shows fabregas"

>Eshia : Ohmygod, but fabregas is sooooo fucking hot, how can i do this to him?

Nicole : Ohmygod, eshia, PICK ONE ALREADY

Some unknown guy said "CHAK" for some reason. So i started bothering eshia all the time with "

CHAK CHAK CHAK CHAK CHAK"

Eshia : Shut up!

Nicole : CHAK!

Lol, the most funniest mann, and then the next day she had to work, i used to rmbr those days, mann, it was tiring, but she survived it. Lol.

Yours sincerely, fallen angel

Betrayed

2009-05-06T21:55:00.001+08:00

Yes i can be happy when you make me happy. When you dont keep things from me. When i dont have to find out from some other people what you kept from me. Although its your fault, what you say to me? You say " dont get angry with me, its not my fault, i just did it, and i forgot to tell you". You forgot? You said you search for me but you couldn't find me? What the fuck bullshit is that crap that's mark on your fucking forehead.. You dont want to show anything to me. You just want me to not trust you even more. You just want somehow somethings your way when i do EVERYTHING, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING YOUR WAY!!

Outdated

2009-05-05T22:38:00.008+08:00

Thursday (30 April 2009)
-Eshia Stayed Over-

My hands mean E. lol

My Son's Father. Duche' I mean.

He looks too cute. Sorry baby

Us Three Amigos.

She looks too cute. Sorry eshia. haha

We went to envie by the way, after 2 hours and a half, blackout and nope, not raid just blackout for no reason, thankgod actually, had a excuse to leave. Dont like the place. Too techno-ish

W
illiam's Birthday ( 30 April 2009)

He's birthday was on the first by the way

While we Pose for the camera

Our Boyfriend

Eats

(All that lamb came out sooner or later, yuck)

At least one bad picture of ling laaa.. LOL

William still looks good, he was able to cut the cake.

He doesn't look too good huh?

And down william goes, saw the plastic bags?

yes, the lamb came out when the clock strike 12.

All of Us. =)

Today (5th april 2009)

Random Pictures.

Im waiting for the clock to strike 12, it's someone's birthday.

Happy birthday you. Hope everything works out alright with your life..

=) always here for you =)

Manchester United Vs Arsenal. Champions League 2-0-0-9

I'll be back soon to talk about the victory of Manchester United.

Wait ah? Lol

Yours sincerely, Fallen Angel

Bali Bali Night. 020509

2009-05-04T00:30:00.008+08:00

Im not gonna elaborate on all of the pictures, but only 2 words.

"ze bomb"

Guys being well...., guys! ;p

Jack being Jack. lol

Us being Us.

I was getting grabbed all the time by ling cause she can barely balance. haha =)

Dancing on the floor, surprisingly

All of Us.

Laura. Shes hot and shes the best dancer i;ve ever seen.

1 something, yes their up there already..

Jacko and me. This Looks Wrong.. =p lol

Not much people this time, we were still innocent. lol

Dj Monkey.

That was when we were on the bar. Barefooted except Ling of course.

My hair. Ayhooooyyyy!

Mamak- after. Everyone damn hungry!

Calvin Yaw christiensen. "He has a crush" lol ;p

Around three something, party ended already, we were waiting for laura to give us the membership form for V.I.P of helo bali, this is so cool! =)

-Tomorrow is another picture day, there's more to come, dont worry, loves-

- Yours sincerely, Fallen Angel-

Anniversary.

2009-04-30T00:26:00.009+08:00

One year two months, i know its nothing much other then

those couples, that lasted more then 4 years or something. But for us, this is defenitly a eye opener to what we didn't really knew we had. It was love. Just love.

7 times broke up in 4 months, countless crying nights, ex gf, ex bf in the picture somehow, scandals, hurt, crying, the slap, everything we went through, somehow we're here, together, and still happily in love, i dont know how this happen this way but im glad and im happy, i dont want anyone else except you baby, and i need you only.

Happy One year 2 months anniversary, even though we almost forgot, does it even matter anymore? Okay, a tiny bit matters but we know we're in love, the years and dates dont even matter, i just want to be with you and only you,

Mohd Asyraf.

Happened.

2009-04-29T16:08:00.002+08:00

The day was fine, hanging out with friends, movies. The mother called to tell stories about this lady, friends were critizing every story that have been told about her. I dont blame all the cursing too. Boyfriend said,

" Please call your mother, there's a problem, there's police everywhere"

Mum, what is happening over there?

I can't talk now, something happen, and i can't tell you now because the police is infront of me now

Is everyone alright? Shawn? You?

Yes, everyone is alright. Its about that lady, her husband came in the house, beat her to death *almost*, broke the keyboard to half and drop the P.A system. The police is around here now, talking about the problem. I'll call you back after this..

Hungs up.

Talk to my friends even more about the problem, and my lesbian partner, she was very pissed.

Why do people do this stuff? Why do they cheat? Why do they even bother to sleep with someone that is married? Why dont they ever think? I'm talking so much, i was one of them, but not this bad. And when you get caught, do you tell the real truth because your afraid you might get hurt more, or do u tell the truth because you are supposed too? What makes you think he won't beat you even if you do tell the truth? Why did you even do this in the first place? Do people ever think anymore? Think about consequences that is gonna happen after the problem?

If you knew your marriage was gonna be a problem since the first day he layed his hand on you, why didn't you walk out the door? Why didn't you tell him, get lost, i dont want to ever be with you ever again. Why do you choose to accept his apologise and act as though nothing went wrong?

I beg you mother, please dont put urself in this position anymore, however bad your life is because im never for you nowdays, please learn to not trust people so easily, i beg of you. Do you remember this words?

"Since you brought man to my wife, i would rape your daughter now"

Do you rmbr what that can actually do to me? You would have lost me at that moment, at that time. Sometimes i thank god for going out even thought i had not much money.

Alot of things happen, but it kept my mum & me closer now. Maybe this is particially my fault, i was never there for my mother till now, and im sorry.

And to you,piece of shit, MY MOTHER never brought any man to your wife, she was in her own house minding her own business, while your wife brought man to my own house, there is a difference between what your wife wants to do behind your back and my mum bringing man to the house, whatever my mum choose to do, my mum has guy friends yes, but she is faithful to my father, no matter what, im sorry your wife is too stupid to sleep with other man behind you, maybe its particially your fault for beating her up all the time. Dont try to turn the story around with the police, if i were to be there, i would have made you shut up at that moment, stupid pakastani people, get lost and rot in hell, go back to your stupid idotic country please?

Yours Sincerely, Fallen Angel.

No meaning

2009-04-27T01:45:00.003+08:00

I really have lost my mood for blogging, maybe its all the time away from my blog, that's why, i seem to know what to write at that moment, then when i log in to blogger, i suddenly have nothing to say, oh well.

Three Things Happen Today

As usual, fought with jack because he doesn't know how to speak to my mother properly, it makes me pissed off that he doesn't know to respect my mother, always follow his own head only, so yeah, but that is over and done with
My two weeks is just over, i broke it, that, only me can know about it and my two bff's if they ever ask me.
My mum surprisingly got better in just two days, by the way, she was sick before this, vomitting, suspected denggi but nope, shes fine. everyone say yeay! *not sarcasticly*

Nothing to write about those three things actually. So, evryone has started college and has their own life now, im just waiting for my time to come now, going to see my dad in china first, then come back and decide where i wanna go, taylors or inti.

Taylors : 3 reason i might not enter.

Because i feel like taylors is going to spoil me. Relationship wise, friend wise and studying wise

I dont feel like its a studying atmosphere there, *likeanycollegeisatthismoment* but yeah

Bloody darn expensive.

Inti : 3 reasons i might not enter

I feel like its gonna be boring and its nearby ss15 for goodness sake, asia cafe everyone? everyday? mygod, i will die.

My dad WAS a lecturer in taylors so i might get in there easily then inti

Friends? hmm, i know one of my bestfriend is going and i dont feel like im gonna be really happy, its nothing related to you, but i know what i wont like and stuff like that

So yeah, sorry if i dont make sense but yeah, thats how i would put it. So yeah. One of my friends told me to just
" Set your goals straight, you wanna go overseas, make it there, make sure you get there, study your very best"

And another friend,
"Even though it might not be the best studying atmospher especially for a girl like you, very very lazy to study *yes that's true* but come on, im sure you just have to have confidence in yourself, dont worry you'll be fine"

So yeah, im abit scared of college, scared i'll be exactly like in secondary and primary, where im the stupidest GURL in class. Nope, that's gonna change, trust me. I just need to keep my mind straight now..

My New Favourite Handphone. Dadddddyyyyyy!!!

Yours sincerely, Fallen Angel

Bitches Day.

2009-04-25T14:53:00.005+08:00

First Off I want to say i love my two bitches from the real world. Although they didn't invite me to the krispy kreme launch, its okay. I'll forgive them one day, somewhere in the outter lifetime. Lol. See, i told you i have nothing to blog about. O M GEEE!

Second, I dont really have anything to say except im happy at where i am now, surprisingly. At one point, everyone told me to just leave it be and yes im leaving it be and something surprising happen yesterday. And its not the best but im happy.. I want to go out. I want to see them But i dont know how to tell,

Oh well, i will tell later, i think. Let me think about it first. No one wants to join me, my bestfriends dont want to join me. Im so hurt right now. Lol.

This is the sick part. My Friend Yash edited this picture and i think its cool, Thank you very much.

Quote : "I dont go into clubs that i have to pay, i always go in free"

Please la, Like we dont. I have nothing else to say except yeah, im abit pissed off with this but i tend to not show it, just keep it inside. Let it be, ling. Let it be. Haha =)

Yours sincerely, Nicole.

Scccccaaaarrryyyyyyyy

2009-04-23T12:27:00.002+08:00

Lol. Will be having a girls day out today with mua lesbian partner and me sayang. lol. Hope everything turns out fun watching ling shop especially when the sales are over, abis. semua duit abis. n then going swimming later, ohmygod, i dont know what to wear. fuck shit. Nevermind. Toodles.

Yours sincerely, Fallen Angel.

Changes

2009-04-20T20:44:00.004+08:00

The post before this has been transferred to my new blog. Anyone who wants to read it and find out more about it, please ask me for the new url. Thank you oh so much.

And by the way i already got my internet back so everyone can be active in my blog now, again.

Please come back my blog fans.. =(

-fallen angel-

Long Long Post.

2009-04-19T19:24:00.004+08:00

Introducing, The first week of April & Some days after that.
Too lazy to elaborate every single detail and picture. So just check it out

Love Love Love It.

Still my Lesbian partner.

Our so called vodka drinks, 3 is better then one right right? =)

Gym isn't working out.. Oh well..

Ladies.

Crazy maniacs. yes, im proud to b one of them

Everyone say "awwww"

My piano teacher and my sayang.

My Sunshine. wtf?

One of the days, eshia came over for a day at the gym, after that her legs sored like hell, she couldnt barely dance, oh well, that should keep her off the stage for a while. haha, nah, it isn't working. So yeah, was bored. Took pictures.

Lalalalalala....

Loser trying to show off.

Much Better. =)

We cool yo!

More cooler then ever! haha

Must have a one nice picture of ms eshia.. god, help me.

Okay, that's done. So yeah, i already found myself a new blog and a new url. Have to ask me to know about it, its a blog unrevealed and all my hidden feelings and past and whatever crap i kept to myself only and no one else knows about it. So yeah, to read please ask me

One more last thing, i might be doing a piercing or a tattoo, so please help me to pick either tattoo on my left back, nearby shoulder or a tongue piercing which eshia has been forcing me to do. Lol, Boyfriend not really happy about the fact he must choose between piercing or tattoo, come on, i dont want to be the innocent girl forever. please baby, please? =(

What Else?

To My Lovely Perempuan, Whatever choice you make, we would always be there for you, although i dont like the reasons why you did it but hey, ive been there before, its better fixing it before it gets even more complicated, i understand alot.. and im just hoping the days will make you happy and not sad. Please dont do anything stupid in the mean time. I love you and always will so so much no matter what you turned out to be.

Guess that's it. Internet coming very soon. WTFRUSTUPID.COMPUTER.MAN. Yes, im pissed off. Anyways, love ya'll.
muax.

The past, and present

2009-04-17T02:33:00.002+08:00

You know how when sometimes you think you;re the only one at fault, and no one is being there for you to help you and you actually think that you have lost everyone important in your life.

Yes, i;ve been there and you know what, I;m suddenly feeling so alive again. I just feel like starting my life all over again and just being just like what i am now and today. Sorry im abit over and soo soo soo random. But yeah, i had a good conversation with one of my bestfriends today and i miss him a whole lot and it felt so nice to just chat like normal. It takes time for someone to forgive someone but he has, no matter what. I am like so happy today.

Other then that, nothing happen this month except that day was the RANDOM DAY when iffah ask me and rachael to go to sunway lagoon, they were nice to pay for me, actually got my head off alot of things, just had time to think on the beach and stuff, really relaxing place and i actually went on all the most scariest rides just for that bitch, iffah. Bloody shit. I was literally shouting, *im gonna kill you if i ever get off this ride*. I dont even dare to go with my boyfriend, and im going on it for her. Oh well, bestfriends forever.. lol. But i just love this week a whole lot. I miss clubbing, i want a clubbing night, Its gonna happen soon.

Okay, this post has nothing important, have nothing else to write anyways, gonna grt my internet very very soon. wait yeah? i'll be blogging twenty four seven just like my lesbian partner. lol. til then, love you peeps..

muah muah

signing off, fallen angel.

Does it matter anymore?

2009-04-05T21:13:00.005+08:00

swimming at my condominium with ling and eshia. =)

good day.

This time im literally tired. Tired of trying to be there. Tired of messaging seeing whether you're alright. Tired of saying sorry thousand of times. Tired of knowing and thinking about you twenty four seven. How can someone you know so well, someone that was so close to you become your worst enemy, become someone that you never knew existed. becoming nobody in your life. becoming just a normal friend when we had the best times anyone can ever imagine.

Im tired. this is the last straw i would give. i am not someone and i repeat, NOT someone that gives too many chances in one time. Im seriously tired. Go to hell for all i care. I dont give a fuck anymore. I have my own life, and yeah you do too. And its better we're this way. at least i would stop all the tears and bullshit you ever gave me. Thank god you're gone.

Im currently in ESHIA SAYANG house now, blogging, and she's playing the guitar. Thank God shes not rapping ling. Lol. We went swimming just now because i was bored at home. And de boyfriend is at the f1 race now, with his smaller brother, haikal.. He's so cute. SWEAR TO GOD! Anyways, had fun today. Yesterday went to asia cafe with de boyfriend and he's friend. It was nice. Get to meet the subang clan again, asye & lan and stuff like that. lol. And i almost fell on the staircase, shouted so loud everyone stared at me. Nothing much to write.

Take care everyone.

loves.

-fallen angel-

Its gone. everythine is gone.

2009-03-23T00:28:00.002+08:00

Am i the only one that feels sad when i lose someone dear to me?

How weird i couldn't hold back my tears even in work. It hurt so badly at the moment. He left. He's gone and he isn't turning back anytime, he doesn't miss me, he won't miss me, its like nothing was there in the first place.. How i wish i didn't get angry so fast? How i wish i would have appreciate the things he has done for me.. Its always my fault when something goes wrong.. always.. and what can i do? practically nothing..

.FRIENDS.

were they there just to see you happy or there just because they had no one else beside them and they wanted someone there to make themselves feel better. Why do i feel like im losing all my friends.. Every each one of them. Its my fault for sounding out what i feel inside my heart. When school finishes, you somhow lose all your friends. When work starts, you have a new group of friends, and when work is done, they are gone. When college starts, its like school all over again, mix with the wrong people and your life goes upside down. So where am i? Im just the girl that cries at night and no one knows.. Was always known as that gurl..

Anyways, enough of the emo status. Boyfriend having finals now, so can't really disturb him.. hee hee. I miss my pet brother but its okay, i'll hide it inside, i miss my lesbian partner, but somehow i dont really want to meet her, i miss my dad but i dont want to go to china to see him, i miss my single life, but i hated being alone and having no one to text, although i had a whole lot of freedom and fun, i had no discipline, i did whatever i wanted to do and i didn't stop at all, that was just truly bad and the wild side of me that i never wanted anyone to see.

Oh oh,

Went to sunburst yesterday. total last minute shit, like at 4 pm only i got tickets, stupid boyfriend practically jumping up and down just because we were going. we got to see

.Nidji.

*i LOVE him. I truly love him. i love his voice. One of his best songs that i enjoyed*

Salahkah aku

Mencintaimu

Memilikimu

Menyayangimu
Jangan paksakan kita untuk

slalu bersama

Jangan paksakan kita untuk

Slalu mencinta

Pharell as usually fucking sexy and hot. My god, he called like 40 girls up to stage, my friends were up there, friends called me too, but i lazy want to panjat the fence so yeah, sorry pharell, it was worthed standing infront for half an hour and waiting for argriculture to finish their performance. Although got pushed out like 20 minutes into nerd performances but no problem, can still see pharell, that was the best, didn't get any pictures cause too lazy to take out my phone, hee hee. oh well, next year hundred percent going too! Speedzone anyone?

so, im off to china soon, so gonna stop working already. College? no time to think now..

pheww. by the way, changing my url blog soon when i get a better name then *pornwanabe*. thanks eshia, thanks ALLLLOOT!! lol.. So yeah, when i do change it'll be private forever, i'll text the people that i would allow to read. love ya'll forever. would blog again soon. i think.

-fallen angel-

Same ol' Same ol'

2009-03-15T21:55:00.002+08:00

So, im here.

Nothing much to write about. Just been working day in and out. Exhausted. I hate fuckson (parkson) rules. Thats what my supervisor calls it. He's cool. I dont like her. She's a bitch. Oh well, somehow everyone is a bitch. So everyone got their results back. Im not really happy with what i had but i am shocked that i got those kind of results. but as usual, i was the odd one out of the bunch who was carrying a whole lot of a's. PMR i had to go through it. SPM too. its okay, im proud of them as they are proud of me.

My Mum : Give me a hug, im so proud of you.

Me: Do you even know what i got?

My mum : Nope, but at least you went through SPM and sat through all the papers.

Me: Then why didn't you hug me after spm papers?

My Mum : Not exciting enough..

Me: bluurrr.....

On the Phone.. A day Later...

My dad : So baby, what happen? how many e's for excellence?

Me : Daddddd, dont be so mean!

My dad : Im sorry, so what you got? My bank book is ready..

Me : (my results)

My dad : Are you sure you tried your very best?

Me: yes daddy, i did, those results are good because i studied last minute..

My dad : okay, im proud of you that you tried your best, my little baby

Me: Money? =)

My dad : you think im your atm machine, i'll think about it, maybe the phone you always wanted when we go to singapore..

DAMN!!
I was thinking, how if i were to get 11 a's like my bestfriend, i think i would have gotten a house.
Lol. Nevermind, my parents. as usual, never push me through anything, they would always be there as long as im not doing anything illegal. I love them both. Truly, im lucky to have them..

"Halo - Beyonce."

My new favourite song. Listen to it. Its cool.

And to you, i never thought you can just walk away and leave and not say anything, you're not the same as before, and dont try making excuses, i ain't gonna listen to it anymore, you know sometimes i feel sad for what has happen, but at least i still did care as much as i could and you?
Nothing. Shove your songs back up your ass, i won't accept bullshit

-fallen angel-

2009-03-04T01:03:00.002+08:00

I tried to make you happy

I did all that I could

Just to keep you

But you left anyway

How long will I be waiting?

Until the end of time

I don't know why I'm still waitingI

can't make you mine

its sweet. thanks you, i appreciate it..

now, last week was my anniversary. how sweet right? okay, okay. haven't been the best girlfriend ever but hey, everyone makes mistakes.. i still havenn't learn from them but im trying my best. we didnt have the best anniversar ever cause i fell asleep, after work, tired as hell. but he was sweet enuf to wake me up at 12 sharp to wish me.. one year, we lasted here, and noting is going to go wrong. i have been selfish and foolish, but i learn. and i learn that i can never love anyone else as much as i love you. always would be my no one baby.

"Thanks for loving me again and again, and bagi i banyak chance to show you how much i dah tukar, and sabar ngan perangai i, i love you more then everything in this world, i letak baby first in my heart, hope b can understand why im controlling, its because i love you and taknak lose b dah. i sayang b banyak2 taw.. Goodnite sayang n happy one year anniversary for us, i nak kira improve our relationship sebab i tak nak kita bazir jee. - asyraf a.k.a jack ur beloved boyfriend 4eva-"

thanks baby..

-fallen angel-

2009-02-25T19:11:00.002+08:00

F.C.U.K
*Working Place*

Stories
:

People change but i never knew my bestfriend would turn into something i thought she would never be. Its hard to be with someone when some things she fakes it and doesn't act herself..

if doing something stupid just because your emo is truly bullshit.

i do it, i dont expect you to be the same, you get it?

People do hurt me, its okay, im used to it, dont mind. My whole life i went through hurt, its not a problem. But yesterday was one of the worst scenario i have ever put myself into.

But as usual, im back on my feet because i care for the person i hurt.

Even though im hurting inside still that he never did apologise properly, its okay, its done and over with.

loves, fallen angel.

2009-02-13T19:57:00.005+08:00

Today. A.day.with.mua.lesbian.partner.si

New HairCut.

AHLONG AHHHH!

Three Most Important Thing She Needs.

Handphone, Coke Light, Coach Bag. Her Fendi Glasses*nothere*

Not Much Differnce. As Usual.

Valentines. No present As Usual.

Ling's Valentine Card MasterPiece

Ling Ling Made This For Me Liao. Lol

A.day.before.valentine's.

Went Over To Ling's House To Stress. OUT.

Gossip Girls. Penn Badgley, Please Marry Me?

New Skinnies.

Starting Work Tomorrow. :(

-fallen angel-

2009-02-10T23:43:00.002+08:00

Cuz we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

Now your gone
i realise my love for you was strong
and i miss you here now your gone
i keep waiting here by the phone
with your pictures hanging on the wall

You know we`ve been down that road
What seems a thousand times before
My back to a closing door and my eyes to the seasons
That roll out underneath my heels
And you don`t know how bad it feels
To leave the only one that i have ever believed in

Its four different songs. The songs that are going through my head right now. I never really wanted anyone to know what im feeling inside. No, dont worry, im fine. Its nothing emo. Just somethings that are on my mind that i never really told anyone afraid of what they might say..Tomorrow is my job interview for FCUK SUNWAY. wish me luck. loves.

-fallen angel-

2009-02-09T23:05:00.004+08:00

Cutest Thing Made On Earth.
Meet Ellisa & Danial.
My Mum's Friend Daughter & Son.

Was taking care of them for almost 3 days and now their in kedah..
I miss them very very much. Especially Ellisa.
Danial is a real monkey freak that jumps up and down on couches.
He's scary.

Duche' is 8 months now. And he's growing so big.
Used to be so small last time. Oh well.
xoxoxo.

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth

I'm just a little too not over you

The fire isn't burning out.

2009-02-03T22:40:00.001+08:00

Trust.
Something I must learn to live with, not without. Something I must learn to get cause of what I have done.

Love.
Something I won’t be able to be without. Something I have finally reached. I know there’s nothing else in my life unless I find my love and finally found it in him. Yes I have,

Faith.
Learn to have faith in myself. Not bring myself down. Learn to be able to think positive about my life.

Kiss.
The only best one is him. Because I know both of us feel the same way when we kiss.

Friends.
Something I won’t be able to live with but its okay if it’s for now. Friends are people who bring you up not down, the one you would believe in. The ones that believes in you. Would put you first among everyone else when there’s a problem. I have found my best two friends. I love ya’ll

Past.
Something that would be hard to forget. Something you have to learn to live with it and to learn to try to forget. Not bring it up all the time. It’s the past. I want to learn to fix it means I have to forget it. I realize.

Future.
No one knows the future. No one knows what’s going to happen. All you have to do now is believe everything happens for a reason. Good or Bad.

Children.
This is the hard one. I love children. I realize I do love them. It’s hard when things happen. All I can do is strive for the best next time.

Honesty.
To learn to trust. To learn to love. First comes honesty, if over and over again, you FIND out the honesty, your relationship is done. I am not joking. No point continue if everything you have to find out is from someone else not from the person you do love and you do trust.

Life.
Life is just life. Good, Bad. Positive, Negative, Death and live. Life is just really life. There’s nothing anyone can say.

Journeys.
Everything I have been through, I don’t regret one bit. It’s a journey that brought me here. I chose the journey, no point blaming myself now.

Experience.
Everything that I have done, it’s called experience. You don’t know what is out there until you try. You don’t know whether genting is cold until you get there. Its experience. Try it but make sure you don’t regret it.

Giving up.
When you finally reach the point, you feel like giving up everything. I’ve been there, done that. Then things happen, and I went back to square one. Sometimes I wonder why I did it. Sometimes I just let it be.

Lies.
It’s hard when you find out some things for yourself and you ask your spouse whether it’s true or not and he says no it’s not true. When you yourself know the truth already. Now that hurts. But when you catch the person off guard that’s something you would feel like you never felt before. To catch someone when their wrong, to me is the greatest.

Cheating.
Cheating is something like lies too. Relatives I guess. The person lied for a period of time saying he loves you only when inside his heart his thinking about another person. I went through this. I did this. Yes, I admit I cheated must worst then what my spouse did to me. But I believe its just karma. Sometimes to give back what he did is much better then just worrying about whether it’s going to happen again. Sometimes guys need taste of their own medicine

Pain.
Oh, I felt a lot of this in the past 5 years maybe? Nope, it not only started now. It started a long time ago. I learned it from my ex boyfriend. I actually learn to be much stronger to pain. I don’t feel a thing when a knife goes through my veins. It only happened once don’t worry. But I’m trying to get out of this trauma I’m having. It’s not very good.

Family.
Something I can only run away when I have fixed my true life. My mother is my responsibility. I would take care of her until she is under the ground *touches wood*. Its hard to sometimes live with her, she’s hard to handle. Just like me. But I love her. She helps me through everything. She keeps my secret. We’re like Gilmore girls. Lol. I miss my dad but he’s far away. It’s okay.

I hope everyone understand what i was trying to write here. I guess i'm learning now.. Learning to be a better person then i was before. And this is just my side of the story. How about yours? What do you feel? You can copy and paste if you want too. I would love to know. That's all i've been feeling since 2009 started and its getting much better, no worries.

Sometimes breaking free is the best, but i'm locked in.

-fallen angel-

2009-01-29T17:07:00.000+08:00

Happy Eleventh Month Sayang.

It wasnt the best anniversary, but we'll fix it later. I love you more and more each day even if it means i dont get nothing out it it. Its okay. I dont mind. Sometimes both have to play the game like my friend said, but its okay, i'll keep it shut because i dont want to lose you. Not ever again.

Nope, im not happy today.

-fallen angel-

2009-01-28T20:57:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone.

Yup, yup.. Still very much missing. Been trying to find a job. No luck there i guess. Might work with my sister, but thats a whole new story. I got not much time to talk about my daily life.. Everything seems fine. No more dramatic girl. Well, sometimes i do cry at night in my room for no reasons at all. Maybe sometimes you just need to cry.

Hope everyone out there is fine. Happy chinese new year.

Hope my daddy is fine. i love you.

=) Guess this is it. Will be back soon. muax.

-fallen angel-

2009-01-20T01:33:00.006+08:00

Slutty Alert.
*Yes, we're just having fun with flat bods, camera's, heels, and poses*
DEAL WITH IT.

Models : Nicole.
Photographer: Eshia Kar Mun.

Models: Lee Suet Ling & Eshia Kar Mun.
Photographer : Nicole.
Remarks : My MasterPiece.

Model : Lee Suet Ling.
Photographer: Eshia Kar Mun.
Remarks : The legs you would want...

Model : Eshia Kar Mun.
Photographer: Lee Suet Ling.

Model : Nicole.
Photographer: Eshia Kar Mun.

Model : Lee Suet Ling & Nicole.
Photographer : Like, duh. Eshia Kar Mun.
Remarks: Yes i know it looks utterly wrong..

Model : Eshia Kar Mun & Nicole.
Photographer : Lee Suet Ling.
Remarks: The best.

Lovez, Fallen Angel.

There will be more coming your way. I see the way you're looking, and thinking. And you know what, tell your brains to fuck off and die. Its called fun. Not being slutty. Thank you very much.

To you, Don't try to smash someone else's Job Line just because you have the chance too.

First day, and i miss my babylove..

And one more, you make me calm, blue topman shirt.. =)

2009-01-18T23:22:00.007+08:00

I guess your waiting for updates eh? Oh well, i can't give long long ones. Except.

I'm dissapointed in you. I'm sad with you. And i wish you didn't have to do that.

That goes to three people i dearly adore and love but today, i had enough.

I'm currently at my lesbian partner house. On the computer, at 1:05am. While she's reading the book. Gossip girls. Today was supposed to be a girl's night in. But then, "someone" cannot make it. ESHIA KAR MUN!!!. Nevermind, its okay. I'll never forgive you but its okay. haha. Just some pictures i thought of putting up for the fun of memories. Thanks for coming while my blog is dead though. I'll be back on my daily routine end of the month.

Oh by the way, my boyfie is going to langkawi tomorrow. Hope you have a safe flight there baby. I'll miss you banyak banyak. Sangat sangat. Don't come back with another wife or girl. And don't come back with bad news. I sayang you. I love you. I will miss you.

Sleep over starting. Yes, this was taken 5 minutes ago.

Me on the computer. hee =)

The day it all started. My experienced girl.

My insomnia pet brother.

Long time ago.

My bee-yatch'z

Sunway Pyramid. New year's eve.

My baby, Ling

My New House.
And My Nephew taking picture while i was clearing my mind.

You know how much i adore you?
Very very much babylove..

Thanks for being there sayang.

My everything. My love. My all.

Taken By Nicole Aldeth Main.
Model : Lee Suet Ling.
Remarks : FAT! * she said it*.

I miss you guys. You know i'll always miss you guys.

-fallen angel-

2009-01-05T18:20:00.004+08:00

Hey everyone.

Okay, im not literally back yet. My internet is not on again. I have to wait a month. But i guess i've been away for quite some time, so i need to blog out some things. 2009 was a change, it is a change, still is a change. So many things happen in 2008 i can't even list them down. But when i look back, i dont regret on the things i have done. But learn to be someone new, and i have DEFENITLY grew into something new. Oh well. Things happen.

I love my life. I like it the way it is. I dont like change in life. Today, i met a old friend, i asked him the first hour i lepak with him. I ask how much have i change since the last time he saw me. And he said not that much, but people do change somehow or another. Okay, fine. Maybe i've change from the going to church almost every single day. To clubbing and drinking. NO DRUGS. But other stuff, that spoils your daily life too. But i dont regret doing all this stuff. Its something you have to experience to know what is it about. Just once and im done.

So, one mistake i did in life was not being careful. Can't help it. I never stopped myself for anything. I let whatever take me through whatever river. I never look back and think. And yesterday was the first day, i didn't do anything, i lay down and i thought back on all the old times. Where i used to bring people to church, now people are bringing me to church. Where i used to tell people, dont need to date la, just be single, you'll be happy, now, people are telling me that instead. Alot of things are different. Some people understand. Some people dont.

I dont mean to be so mean to you both. I know you both will accept me for who i am, whatever i am, but its hard when everyone is telling you to do only one thing, and that's * the right thing*. It hurts to hear that all the time. I wish maybe sometimes you both would tell me its not that easy. Its really not. To change everyone in one day. Things won't just be okay, it will always be bumpy every along the way. I love you, baby.

So 2009 no new resolutions. Because i didn't do any of my resolutions last year. I fucked up all of it. So this year, no resolutions except loosing weight of course. Which that also MIGHT BE a no no.

It felt nice meeting people for once. Curve on new years, was great. I feel like im bonding more with other people then just sticking at home. As my friend said i should start going out more. Stop locking myself in the room. I would do that after i do something, maybe. Oh well.

That's it about me i guess. Dont know when im gonna write somemore. But sooner or later i guess. By the way, my boyfriend (jack a.k.a asyraf) and i are happily together, at last. We have went through so much, but we're building each other trust. Hes doing all he can. Me too, i hope so. Im glad i finally reach here. How long i took, how many mistakes i did. I finally reach here. Where i know i wont go back down the road of sadness & depression anymore. Be happy for me. Thanks

-Till next time, fallen angel-

My everything.

Curve. 2009. * Lovelies *

2008-12-27T19:36:00.008+08:00

Me. Fara Adiba. Amira * Best dress*. Jeswena

Anissa. Fara Diba. Nicole. Jeswena

Rabiatul. Nicole.

Juria Hartmans. Nicole

Nicole. Jeswena. Iffah.

Fara Diba. Nicole

Thevanesh. Juria. Fara Diba

Jeswena. Fara Diba. Nicole

Our table.

Jeswena. Nicole.
*im gonna miss you so much*

There's more to come. This is all i have in my friend's computer. Oh well. It was a good day.

-Fallen Angel-

2008-12-22T22:22:00.000+08:00

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you,
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking,
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell something that ain't real

Well the truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late (too late)

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts,
And lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

* a song you should hear.. Broken Strings - James morrison.. Been listening to it all the time now*

2008-12-22T21:26:00.001+08:00

Away.

Sorry for the inconvenience caused. Lol. I'll be away till im ALLOWED to write a long post. Since im at someone's house and hes not ALLOWING me to write a long post. Prom pictures and stuff like that would be posted on the next post, i hope. PACAD!!!....

Anyways, take care.

-fallen angel-

2008-12-15T01:44:00.003+08:00

I wanted to write about so many things.

But my mind is just this

*Blank*

"Because i sudah give up"

That's all you can say for your excuse of being an a-hole, I wonder why i always gave you the chance but when it came to just being a good friend for me, you think about your feeling much more then me. Dont you get it? Dont you fucking get it that i dont want to hurt you that is why im doing this before this goes even longer and you end up getting hurt even much more. Why can't you just fucking understand for once? You know, you're just perfect. A perfect J.A.C.K.A.S.S

-Fallen Angel-

2008-12-12T17:25:00.009+08:00

Happened In November 2008.

New Hair Cut.

Me & Pacad. *Thanks Eshia*

I miss You.

Damn Cute.

EX usj4 Girls. hee

Fall For you.

****

Sexy Baby.

Swimming.

Nazeem's Bbq.

Guitar Hero.

farhanis. i miss you.

Him.

-Fallen Angel-

Tears

2008-12-09T23:06:00.002+08:00

As i lay my fingers on the keyboard, i have no idea what to say. Everything is in my mind. Everything that is true is in my heart. Yet i can't find the words for apologise, for happyness, for grief and sadness. I have no idea what to do anymore. My life went from perfect to really fucked up to okay, happening to confusation to here. Im back here again. The life i never wanted. To fight with bestfriends of mine just because of someone. To leave someone behind because of another someone. Why is all the blame on me when all i was trying to do is proof a point? Everything is backfired on me now and i have no where else to go.. Nothing else to do.. No meaning to the life i led anymore.

I miss you. This is so fuckingabsolutelyfuckingfuck hard. I never thought it would be this hard. Alone i still feel. Having him tell me tat he loves me and that he misses me. Can i still believe it like i used to believe once before?

I feel restless. No one can help me through this. I dont feel like i need anyone anymore to say anything about. I want to but i can't find the words to say anything anymore.

Im so tired.

Live. Tears. Stay.

Im sorry to everyone.. I'll be away till light comes back on.. Take care..

-fallen angel-

N.K.b.N

2008-12-07T23:17:00.001+08:00

This is so the wrong thing to do. I love you. I do like so much. I need you. I have never felt this happy in my life before. I have never met such a nice guy like you. Yet somehow or another, i can't push everything away and just give myself to you. Im scared of commitment now. Im scared because of the mistakes i have done over and over again. I know what i did would be a regret in my life sooner or later, but this is the best. I dont wanna hurt you anymore. I dont want to see you weak. I dont want to be the cause of your tears.

I love you i really do. I wish i can start something with you. But its too fast. Everything is moving too fast.

I just need to be alone. For some time.

xoxo.

-Nicole Aldeth Main-

BestFriends.

2008-12-06T16:13:00.003+08:00

These are the people i need in my life to literally survive. =)

I sayang you guys so much.

Thanks for everything

I seriously mean it.

No seriously.

Lol

Pacad-ness. Thanks for everything babe. Deep inside my heart, everything involves you. I thank god sometimes that he brought me a pet brother like you. Someone who can help me through everything. Push everything away just because i need someone to talk to. Run to the shop just because i say i need credit. Ohmygod, you are just so great.
"He's the coolest and the cutest pet brother i have ever had, and always will be my only one &&& he's status is stil available, lol"

Shapeq-ness. Although you dont help me that much but your still my number one in my heart. Hes the party starter, the host, the most funniest jokes guy i have ever had. Even when im crying or just sad, with a look from his eyes, im happy again. I dont know how the hell he does it. But hes face just cracks me up. Its too hot i guess. lol. I love ya so so much. So glad to have you in my life. Im sorry for all the fights we have been through and all the misunderstanding. I sayang you. And take care of my friends properly yeah? lol you hurt them, i'll murder you on the spot.

They are my soulmate/guardian angel/ B.F.F. You know why? Because they are great and they know what life really is about.. They advice me on the most littlest thing.. They help me whenever i need them. They know how to say the right things at the right time. I love them wholeheartedly. They change me to a person i never knew i had inside of me. Im strong because of them. I love you both. So so much.

My first slut. Shes my small baby. I teach her things. I give her advices. She does the same. Shes my strength holder. She brings me up. She helps me through everything. Shes always there to lend a helping hand. She changed me into being more high class cause she is. God, she used to be a nerd. And a prefect at school. Now look whose dancing on the stage in clubs? haha. No matter what she does, dont ever call her a slut. Only im able to do that. Cause no matter what she is and no matter what she does. She's always gonna be my number one priority and bestfriend.

Eshia baby. Her sister hates me. But i love her. They both are so different. This girl knows everything. Our ex are almost about the same guy. We know how to relate to each other. She help me without hesitation. Shes like my bigger sister. Im so glad i met you baby. Thanks for everything you did for me. Sayang you so much.

Tattoo. Love it.

-fallen angel-

Realize.

2008-12-05T20:20:00.002+08:00

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Take me back to the start.

Now tell me what are we? Tell me what we used to have was actually something and it shudn't have been thrown away. Tell me that. Now you finally realize what you lost. After months of me waiting like a doll. After months of crying because you were cheating behind my back. After months of sheer sadness and tears coming down my eyes every night. Now tell me what are you doing in the middle of the night? Now you know how it feels like to be push aside and to be left alone.. Now you know how it feels to be cheated on, to be taken advantage of. Now you know.

I never meant to do these kinda things to you. I never meant for us to part like this. I never meant for you to read the messages a new guy send. But this is what God wants. Its just called karma. And there's nothing you can do about it now. Maybe as time pass by there is still hope. But for me now, there is nothing i feel. I love you, yes i do. But my heart doesn't linger for your presence anymore. I've been pushed,slapped,crying,cutting,depress,taken advantage of, used. There is only a small part my life and my heart can take. I'm sorry.

-fallen angel-

"These was one of the best night with you, my darling"
Its gone.

Clubbing Nite.

2008-12-03T00:28:00.004+08:00

Nicole Turns 17. This is how it is. Im wondering how if im 18. Daymmmmm!

Drunk Sick Asses. Lol

Dancing on the stage for the whole world to see right after 12 am.,

Hold me.

My Sluts. CEHHHH! hahahhaha

Shes my lesbo Partner. I think everyone else thought that too

Bend baby. Bend. This looks wrong. haha =)

Quueee

My Pet Brothere. Love ya.

My ManS. Only one went down, guess who.

No its not black dick. haha

They were the party starters. Have to give credit to that.

-fallen angel-

2008-12-02T21:47:00.005+08:00

After Birthday Party. The next day. Port Dickson. 30th.November.2009

I was dry the whole afternoon. And then tv push me in. Damn!
Baywatch!

SPM OVER!! lol

I love this picture <3> Look at the legs. Look at it! haha

<3> Kiss Me. ;)

My black Dick.

Efa & Que

Daryl.

After Banana Boat.

Usj 4 Kids. lol

Me & Syad. While waiting for them to come back.

Sorry girls, Im taken.

Damn you!

Me. Me

MasterPiece

I had fun with the bunch for the last one week or so.

Two word for my birthday/clubbing nite.

ZE BOMB!

Away a little bit more

2008-11-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

hey everyone.

Im stopping by just for a while. Nothing else to do in the cc. I have like 30 more minutes to go. Everyone has been treating me so nice except for that oh so stupid asshole. Oh well. Nevermind. Another 2 more subjects to go. Me and my study group friends really dont have the mood to study anymore. Maybe because its already ending..

I miss everyone. Everyone is complaining how they know nothing about my life anymore. Yeah, i feel that too. Im so quiet nowdays. Im crying in my room. But yet i act as though i have nothing wrong in my life. I shud just stop even crying ya know. Oh well.

I have nothing much to say. This is all i guess. Take care everyone

-fallen angel-

Away

2008-11-20T15:05:00.001+08:00

I'll be leaving my blog like this for a while. Till end of the month. Because i wont have the time to sign in into the internet, walk all the way to usj4 cc and sign in there. So im just gonna leave my blog. Dont tell me to update when you know i can't. Lol. 2 more weeks and im free. Everyone start singing. Okay, im crapping. Will miss you guys. Lovez.

-fallen angel-

Confused.

2008-11-20T00:01:00.004+08:00

Im here again. Using the laptop. Cause my computer is currently in the shop being rebooted. My images, videos, songs and so much more other stuff has been deleted. I dont know how to get it back. Be more vain i guess. Oh well. Im done with all the hard subjects except est. And arts, fucking hard mann. Im so gonna fail arts, i swear to god. Teacher say its hard to fail, but i swear i will.

I listen to "Quit Playing Games - Backstreetboys" All the time now. Its stuck in my phone and in my head everywhere i go. Maybe its what im feeling in my heart. You should really stop playing with my heart. I dont like the way your treating me. So hes off my myspace now. Im sorry. You know it hurts to read the comments from your profile. It just hurts. Too bad.

I miss someone. Its not wrong to tell the world i miss you, but i cant say who it is because i dont know. I feel weird missing him all of the sudden Alot. Its weird im actually thinking about him. . Oh well. I know it doesn't mean anything. But yeah. I miss you, bb.

My legs hurt now. Fucking cramp now. Fuck fuck fuck It hurts.

*after 5 minutes*

Okay, im better..

I walked home in the rain tonight. Felt like something wasn't right.

The doors around me all close. I had no where in my life i could go.

I just want you to know, that i;ve been finding to let it go.

Somedays i'll make it through, and then theres nights that never end.

I wish i could believe, that theres a day you could come back to me

But still i have to say, I miss you. I really do.

Okay, this so doesn't make sense. But whatever. Just something i put together. Good nite.

-fallen angel-

Pissed Off.

2008-11-18T22:03:00.004+08:00

"Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you"

David Archuletta - Im just a little too not over you.

Hey, im back. And i dont know what to say. I think i lost all my mojo in blogging. I have no mood to blog at all. I come back home from school and im straight to the bed, sleep till late night. And then i stare at the computer, without switching it on. Feel tired. Back to the room to study. Wake up wee hours in the morning, and my head is in the books. Yes, Books. So im sorry for not updating so long. Just been a buzy hectic day. Im supposed to be sleeping now. But i know i'll be wasting my sleeping hours when i can do something useful. So yeah.

Alot of things have been happening this week. Only the people really close to me knows whats going on. Its nothing new. But it can't be kept in. So, im sorry to the person that has to hear the same thing all the bloody time. I feel like meeting a new friend so i can tell all new secrets too. But that person would get annoyed again too. Oh well, im just crapping right now..

Fucking stupid commercial bullshit thingy. After 5 months fucking not paying me. The bloody agent calls me and tells me he needs me on wednesday to do a new shooting, because the manager doesn't like one part. What the fuck? I can't fucking say anything.. Cause he would start adviving and bla bla shit, like he knows a fucking shit about my life. Which YOU DONT! FYI!. fucking bastard. Ohmygod, im so annoyed with you and your stupid commercial. I dont like being treated like this. Not anymore.

As goes for you mister. You and your fucked up girlfriend can go to hell. Seriously. Get a life. Dont treat me like im a small kid that you can bully around like usual. You wanna call and tell me to stop bothering you. get your fucking facts right first. Cause everything she tells you and everything that is happening is fucking bullshit. Dont scold me for things i never do. Again, i got better things to do then to mess with your
PATHETIC.LOSER.LIFE.SERIOUSLY!

Four more papers. 2 subjects. Two weeks till its over. 2 weeks till my birthday/non 10 months anniversary And i already dont have the mood for anything. Why? Why dont i have the mood for anything anymore. Studying blues i guess. My dog is being a bastard. Asshole. Stop bothering me. Retard.

-fallen angel-

Bored.

2008-11-14T20:32:00.002+08:00

10 things i have to do before i reach 20.

Meet Wade Robson.
Cut my hair really really short, till like over my ears.
Turn back to God.
See paris.
See a real live football game
*manchester united must be playing*
Make my own CD with my own voice
Dance infront of a big audience
Win MONEY for my dance.
Record myself dancing and put it on youtube.
Be a professional dancer.

LOL..

IM A L.O.S.E.R

-fallen angel-

Different. You're different.

2008-11-14T09:33:00.004+08:00

I have 4 Days Free.

Im awake at 9.00am. Message all my friends for a study group today. But no one replied. Must be sleeping. Im the one up early today, surprisingly. After this 4 days. Its Science, Pendidikan Moral, Arts & English Science & Technology. Im studying for Moral today. The nilai's not all in my head yet. Oh well. My mum is not here for the week, shes going to sri petaling because shes bored here. My astro got cut off. My house phone got cut off. So if she can't watch tv or complain to anyone, shes bored. Yes shes like that.

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

I should know.

That you're not gonna change.

Walk away please? If you want to hurt me again just to see how much my heart longs for you. Just go. I rather not be a complete idiot here thinking you actually love me. When you dont. Now, i see you as this pathetic loser that has a girlfriend but wants to go telling every other "gedik" girls that you're actually single. Please think before you do stuff. I have done E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G to keep this. So do something too. Dont just make me do all the bloody hard work. I rather not put myself in a position again. So dont be a fucker and grow up, please?

-fallen angel-

Ignorance

2008-11-13T18:46:00.004+08:00

Ignore the last post. Just bullshit i have to go through

Every Single Day.

Even at spm, my eyes are still bengkak cause of the crying, i mean what else? And i can't believe it hurt this bad. Thought i would get used to it. But whatever la. By the way, My MySpace is going to be G.O.N.E very soon. Im too lazy to check it already. No one comments or comments my pictures anyways, So having myspace is a total BORE. So yeah.

Maths is done.

Sejarah is done

Bahasa melayu is done.

English is done

4 down

4 more to go.

=))))))!!

*After i finish my Sejarah Paper, i was thatttt bored*

You're a smart BITCH!

Help me.

My masterpiece. lol

"Yes, drama is still in my life. Everywhere i go. Today i was doing maths, of course i finish one hour earlier cause im that "smart". LOSER. So yeah, i was looking at this particular person. I realize he looks like a mouse. And then another person, he looks much more ugly then before. And i was just wondering.. *DOT DOT DOT*. Not to be stated here. =))

-fallen angel-

Oh Oh I forgot!>

My poem i did in maths paper 2.

Exams are here,

Its so hard to get through

Wish i paid more attention

Then i won't be stuck here not knowing what to do

Everyone around me looks just as blur as i am

But im sure they understand how to do that question involving a driving man

My parents never push me

Maybe that's why i turn out this way

Got to do study much more after this

Get everything glued in my head

=)))

B.S

2008-11-12T19:01:00.002+08:00

Why you have to be the biggest B.I.T.C.H sometimes?

I f.a.r.k.i.n.g stand up for you all the bloody time. Tell you to stop blaming yourself, be there for you. And you still can't stop acting like a bloody small kid. Oh mygod, grow up la! You're so fucking irratating and annoying, that is WHY people bugged you all the time. Live up to it that you just can't answer back. So you just shut the hell up!! Get it?

For all days, this happen today..

fucked up.

And no, dont ask me about my sejarah. I just failed it like shit. Im tired, cranky and hungry. And only eating dinner & lunch at 8 pm later. how fucked up can today get? God, stupid SPM. Be over mann. You;re really killing me. Dont make me cut my own throat bitch.

First Day.

2008-11-11T18:53:00.003+08:00

You’re gonna be a shining star, fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.
And then you’ll see, you’re gonna go far.
Cause everyone knows, who you are-are.
So live your life, ay ay ay.

First thing i come back home, I switch on my computer, internet, etc and listen to the best songs in the world nowdays. . Live your life - rihanna feat T.I, If i were a boy - Beyonce, Whatever you like - T.I, Global Deejays, Dj Tiesto, Fuck. Damn. Alot. Of. Songs.

And no, im not gonna talk about what happen in b.m. But lets just say i did the best i can do. Glad bahasa melayu is over and done with. God, fucking fucked up. But i think i did better then all my last exams. Hope everything works out. Sejarah, can pass.. Im sure.. Tomorrow is sejarah2*FUCK YOU* and English. Can't wait for ENGLISH. Im fucking tired. Gonna sleep a while then will be back on later. Love you people =))

-fallen angel-

S.P.M

2008-11-11T07:00:00.001+08:00

Its here. Its finally here.

Woke up 4 hours earlier just to go through bm books. How crazy am i sometimes? Oh well. Wishing everyone luck and faith. =))

-fallen angel-

Words.

2008-11-10T19:10:00.003+08:00

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed.

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

Currently Listening to "If i were a boy by beyonce".

She sounds so different yet the same. I didn't even realize it was her. Im so dead sleepy. I feel like i've been neglecting my old friends alot. Maybe its cause im changing and cause im like really dead buzy. Everytime i wanna reply its like something else comes up. And no,im not wasting my life or doing something like watching tv or something. Just important stuff. Anyways, im sorry to shafique, asyrafeeq, and pacad for not replying your messages. I'll try not to do it again.

Just came back from study group. A whole misunderstanding fight happen just now. But i think its fine now. So yeah. Its nothing much. I didn't really study today cause i had this massive stomach pain, its disturbing me now too. Its freaking hell hurts. So i just put my head on the table the whole time while listening to nazeem and jeswena talk. It still hurts =(. Hope it won't happen tomorrow or something...

Soo...............

ITS.....

TOMORROW!

TOMORROW

I asked my friends today. Whether they felt like they wasted their school life. And everyone said yes, they wasted like 24 months of their school life. Me too. Well too late to regret now, its freaking TOMORROWWWW!!

Im sleepy. Good nite.

-fallen angel-

The chills are starting...

2008-11-09T23:54:00.004+08:00

Hello blogger.

Im back.

After the weekend, i feel so very tired. Been up from 4 in the morning till like 2 pm. Then sleep, then go out then come back again, then study again under this bright yellow light. I was alone for two days. So that's good. I could concentrate much more. And i had iffah's note. "Sorry babe".
So, my study group peeps are pissed off with me because i didn't tell them i was going to my hometown. And i didn't bring my charger. So my fon was off most of the time. And when i switch it on for a while, there was already 16 missed calls. But i couldnt reach anyone cause well its off so yeah. Came back here just now around 5 pm, then charge my fon and full of messages saying they miss me and where the hell am i. Hahha, my bad la babes.. =))

So "Its" less then 48 hours. Im scared. Yes now its finally hitting me. This is where everything starts. This is where you know where your life is gonna end up. Well actually in march, but still. Same thing. This is where you find out whether your a winner or a loser. Im pretty much both. My dad called just now. He told me this.

"Nicole, no matter what happens after the results come back, remember i still love you for what you are and what you will become. Just try your hardest. As long as i know you did your best and gave it 100%, its good enough. You know im not the type of father that would push you to do anything. I never did that. You decide what you want in life. You want me to help, i'll be there. But the rest is up to you and what you want in L.I.F.E. Do your best baby.

My mum?

Lets just say shes always there for me no matter what..

I realize alot of parents are the type that pushes their daughter or son to be what THEY want them to be. But not mine, i guess sometimes i do feel lucky having them as my parents. Maybe my mum was right, i always took advantage of what they gave me as parents. I love you, mum and dad.

All my friends are here for me.

Their building my confidence up one percent to another. He's here for me. Although the other one isn't. But i dont blame him anymore. Its not his fault. Its mine. And its okay. My dad wasn't happy to hear some stuff that happen to me "recently" if you know what i mean. He said "its gonna be a regret if you're gonna continue what you hated last time, dont put yourself in this position, you know you as my girl, you deserve better". And yeah i do. You think you're so great? Think again..

That's it i guess.

-fallen angel-

"Thanks friends.
SPM candidates, lets do it.
Lets give the best that we never did,
Move forward and never look back,
Do your best and never forget.,

Craps. & Craps.

2008-11-07T07:15:00.004+08:00

Im up. Yes, up at 7 15 in the morning. And im bored. So im blogging. Im watching russell peters on youtube too. Jack chan introduce it to me long time ago, and im watching all of it now. Oh well. I unprivated my blog already. Its time as usual. Sooner or later, im gonna private it again. I think. Depends what goes on in my life. Im very dramatic so im sure something would come up. Im excited for today. No idea why but im just damn excited. In another 5 hours im gonna meet up wth my bestfriend. Daym! Been long weh..

So the singapore/hongkong/south africa trip is on, Somewhere around the middle of january. Since my step sister from my father's side wants to see how much of a grown lady i've become. Im not really grown yet, just full of fats. Gonna get my text phone! Im calling it a text phone. I do not care what it is called. But im calling it a text phone. Cuz' it looks nice when people use it for sms-ing. haha. My dad promised me that phone already, just one thing. I hope it works here. If it doesn't. Waste of bloody money mann. But singapore is cheap. No problem laaaa...

Im really crapping aren't i? Really have nothing to do. Just now study group, was fun. At first it was boring but when i started askign questions everyone was laughing because i couldn't speak the bahasa melayu words properly. Shit. Nevermind. So it was fun. Camwhored. And then after that went to this arabian shop in ss15. To celebrate thevanesh birthday party. He's ALLLLL GROWWWNNN UPPPPP... Happy Birthday Dude! Then went homee..

Oh yeah, i wont be blogging for the weekends cause i'll be really buzy this weekend. Doing alot of things. Meetings. And study group, bla bla bla. =)) So miss me will ya?

"4 more days"

Doesnt it just scare you? Haih..

-fallen angel-

2008-11-06T19:14:00.003+08:00

Study Group.

"Yes we camwhore AFTER it"

Jeswena & Me.
See! There's BOOKS!

Iffah & Me.

I was taking pictures of the books, she "masuk campur"

Haha, I was Bored.

Honey Honey.

Iffah's Phone.

HotStuff Dowh. haha
Yes im the only one posing. My bad.
I just C.A.N.N.O.T smile with my teeth.
"Suck in it"

-fallen Angel-

"Will Blog More Tonight. Have to Memorize My Moral Nilai. Love you people"

Lost.

2008-11-06T06:20:00.002+08:00

I got nothing else to say already.

Everything i do say is either childish or just plain stupid.

All i wanna say now

I miss Shafique, Suet Ling, Asyrafeeq, Pacad, Anis Nabilla & Jack. A

And now, the SPM fever is starting to hit me. Im freaking out. So i made a study group tomorrow from 8 am to 4 pm. All the way, Sejarah, Bahasa Melayu and E.S.T. Why you think im bloody well up at 6:30 in the morning. I dont get up for nothing you know? So will be waiting for iffah, anissa, jeswena, thevanesh, sarah to come. I know this is kinda hard to believe but please build my confidence for me.. Thank you very much..

-fallen angel

"5 days till i enter H.E.L.L"

2008-10-30T01:18:00.002+08:00

So, i've been away for quite some time now huh? Im sorry. Ive been so so buzy lately. Going out with cousins. Studying. Reading books. Mcdonald's. Travelling all the way to sri petaling just to have lunch. Listening to songs before i go to bed. My bloody nose blocked, Sore Throat and so many other things. Fixing up my life from left to right.
Taking advices from so many people(thanks by the way). All those crying nites. All those messages were deleted. Taking new pictures with new friends. Meeting up new people. Josh, El And Kiki. Their so cute. Aunty Salmah's open house. Kl sentral. Ikea. One utama. Curve. Damn. I've been going out a whole lot this week. Maybe that's why God gave me this stupid sore throat, fever and flu. I feel like dying. But like he said. "Drink lots and lots of water".
Yes, i have to do what he says now. Or not i won't be the best i can be for him.

This is me, Sick!

Met up with my pet brother, que and ling after two weeks not seeing them. They were dying to know whose my new crush. Yet only two of them know. I haven't told my pet brother yet. Im so sorry dear. I would sooner or later. I would call you and tell you okay? I sayang you.. Stay single! LOL.

So, new updates? I decided to officially end my 9th month relationship with him. I chose to do this because i cannot lie anymore of what im truly feeling. We're still very good friends. Remember, i'll never forget about you. I wanna write about my new crush but i have to private my blog under some circumstances. So from tomorrow, it would be private okay? That's all i guess.

Take care everyone. Spm coming! Pray for me.

-fallen angel-

2008-10-25T10:39:00.002+08:00

Off to KL Sentral & To Ikea with Beverley & Max. Gonna have a blast.

Would be back later aitez?

Miss me yea? hee =)

-Fallen Angel-

2008-10-24T04:41:00.002+08:00

Pump it, rock it, groove it, move it.
Make it, shake it, never lose it.
Fix it, fake it, never break it.
Pump it, pipe it, never state it.
Drum it, snare it, blast it, kick it.
Want some pussy, never lick it.
Push it, screw it, suck it, squeeze it.
Do it there, I wanna lick it!

Read E.V.E.R.Y S.I.N.G.L.E word.
Read it.

One day im gonna put this song on my profile. Just wait & see.

Its 5.30 in the morning and im just bored.

Toodles.

I miss you.

-fallen angel-

2008-10-23T21:26:00.003+08:00

Why do I keep running from the truth, All I ever think about is you

You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized. And I just got to know

Do you ever think. When you're all alone. All that we can be.

Where this thing can go. Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it really just another crush, Do you catch a breath

When I look at you, Are you holding back Like the way I do

Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away

But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

I got a crush. And no one knows who is it. I dont know how i can fall for him. Its so weird. He was nothing to me before this. He's NOT from subang. Thank god. Hes NOT a malay. Okay, i dont like him. I just like the way he looks like now.. Hes just different..

But nope, i still love my ex boyfriend. Yes i still do aitez? Im gonna admit itt..

Im really bored and have nothing else to write about.

My handphone is giving me problems noww.. I can't type a goddamn message. The LG guys said that this phone is like always like this. Its the main problem of the phone. So everyone is calling me and texting me but i can't reply. Cause i can't really click on anything. So im sorry that im ignoring your calls and messages. I dont mean it. You know me? If i get a message im sure too reply. Just not now. Till my phone is actually fixed. It would be. Sooner or later, I hope.

I always contact him only like after 12am. I can't believe i can actually do this. But i am. I called him at 8 just now and he said to call him back later cause hes playing counter strike. Guess what? Im NOT gonna call back later cause i just dont want too. He misses me more when i seem hard to get.. Chunted siall. I got him where i always wanted him at. Talking a whole lot of crap now! Going off to study peribahasa and seni kata. Yes, surprisingly k? Good nite everyone..

-fallen angel-

2008-10-22T21:28:00.007+08:00

Sunway Pyramid. ( 21 october 2008)

Iffah just got her license, so she drove my car there. I thought she was gonna be abit shaky and stuff. God, she drove like a mad woman! Hahah. But shes save.. She loves to bring my manual car. Can see it on her face.. So Anissa, Jeswena, Iffah, Sara and me. Went there then the 4 of us went for fish reflexology.. hehe. These are the pictures. Too lazy to elaboratee. =)

Iffah. My Driver. Haha ;p

Us 4.
Iffah was scared. Serious shit scared.
And ticklish like everywhere.
Iffah & Anissa.
Everyone tryng to tahan the ticklish feeling..
Anissa was saying how we're supposed to tahan at least like 5 minutes. then after that we won't realize the ticklish feeling anymore. Everyone got over it except M.E. I couldn't. It was too damn ticklish.. I was laughing, hitting my legs.. shaking my body.. horrible! haha

Jeswena's Legs. Alot of fishy!!
The small fishies. They were nicee. But very sticky..

My feet. This time i got used to it like 5o% already.
Had nothing else to do. =)

Jeswena with the long medium fishy'ssss...

hehehehehehehehehehe

Fishy'ssssssss!

Oh oh, after the fish reflexology. The cashier offered us like 5 minutes of scrubbing our feet. iffah was first. Then jeswena.. I didn't do itt. Too lazy to take off my shoess.

See! Iffah's feet SMEELLLYYY!!

Ade masa jugak nak pose dowwh..

In this arab shop. Iffah Again!
Barbican Apple Bear. Ze best!

Today.

Asia Cafe. ( 22 october 2008,03.00PM)

Saw so so so many hot guys coming out from college.
This one hot matsalleh guy. OHMYGOD!! HOT!!

Then, i saw FOONG HAN! Oh my god, been ages since
I last saw him.. he looks different.

I love the sun. I really do.
Rockstar.. haha
Hot Hot.
Deenyetttt!!
Of course me and only me. Like du-oh.

Too lazy to explain whatever happen today. All i can say i lost my road from right to left.. I dont know where am i going.. Im falling again.. Just falling down so hardd.. Its okayy. Im fine. My girlfriends made me better today. =) =)

-fallen angel-

2008-10-21T07:10:00.002+08:00

So, its 7:15am now. Off to school. I think gerak gempur (forensics) are starting today. Im not really sure. Oh well, All i know is i haven't even read a single bit. Mann, Im so dead la wehh.. So yeah, just now about 3 am. My friend gave me the shocka my life.. I swear to god i felt like killing him cause i was just about to go to sleep. Damn! So yeah, he was infront of my house and he said sorry and stuff like that. When i open the door, he showed a smily face. Stupid FOOL. So, i hugged him and then i cooked sausages and eggs. He didnt eat any. Bloody FOOL. Then, my pet brother got emo on me i think.. Cause of some things i said about this anonymous guy that came over.. Im sorry dear.. Well i was really surprise. He came all the way from negeri sembilan. No one really did that for me.. Coming from so far just to say sorry. Awwww~ You are so sweet. Thanks. Then he had to go home at 4 am. Cause my mum said i needed S-L-E-E-P.

After that, i was texting "somebody". I confessed everything to him. How i felt. Like everything. And he said some too. Aww, hes so sweet. But i know he wont be mine. Oh well. There's other fishes in the sea. Just need to find the right goddamn fish!. My friend asked me that day "What do you if you love someone you know you can't get?". And all i had to say is " Dont give up". You know why? Cause something that's hard to get is worth the work. So yeah, Just dont give up sayang.. I won't give up too. I love you too god damn much.. But i know my limits of course. Well, i got over my ex boyfriend quite fast eh? Actually im not even over him.. Im still on off with him.. All that's going through my mind is what a slut am i. BUT, im not sleeping with anybody.. That's a A+. Okay, im crapping too much.. Off to school...

Toodles..

-fallen angel-

2008-10-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

-Snuff - Slipknot-

So if you love me let me go
And run away before I know
My heart is just too dark to care
I cant destroy what isn't there
Deliver me into my fate
If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you
Ooh, my smile was taken long ago
If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that saver every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart...
When you refused to fight
So save your breath I will not hear
I think I made it very clear
You couldn't hate enough to love
Is that supposed to be enough?

I only wish you weren't my friend
Then I could hurt you in the end
I never claimed to be a saint
My hope was banished long ago
It took the death of hope to let you go

So break yourself against my stones
And spit your pity in my soul
You never needed any help
You sold me out to save yourself
And I wont listen to your shame
You ran away, you're all the same
Angels lie to keep control
My love was punished long ago

If you still care, don't ever let me know
If you still care, don't ever let me know

This song was introduce to me by Max Gill. He's a fan of slipknot, cardle of filth, and every metal rock bands. So yeah. Its the slowest song i have ever heard from slipknot. Fell inlove with it from the first strum of guitar.. Okay, The song doesn't really mean anything. But the lyrics is really apart of me. I dont really really understand what the song is really about. But im trying to understand soon enough.

I really should start getting my sleep house right this time. Im sleeping when people are awake and awake when people are asleep. Something is wrong with me. Im not eating right. Wait, scrath that. Im eating alot actually. Like a whole lot. About 7 times a day. I have nothing else to do. I mean i actually do. But i can't find anyone that can help me with it. But im trying to get through this.

The weekends was just a tiring day. Going here and there. On saturday i went to brickfields with Beverley, Ahbi And Pam. To find deepavali punjabi suit. The smell. I dont like it. But what to do? The punjabi suits were very very beautiful. I love the sequence on it. It was like only RM100. Beverley says its cheaper then last year. So we walked at brickfields for like an hour or so. Then reach KL SENTRAL. Where there was a deepavali festival. They were selling it like for RM50. The people selling the baju are really really funny. Their like "RM5O, come in come in come in. No need to buy also can, just come in and see. Fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty" And we were like laughing cause of the way they were saying it.

After that supposed to go to pacad's Open House. Then my mum told me i had a dinner with my cousins and stuff. I had to pick. But i haven't seen my cousins in like a bloody long time. And yeah. Its a family thing. So i had to skip Pacad's Open House. Im sorry brother.. So i had makan2 with the cousin's. Lepak2. Drank tequilla outside the house at like 4 am in the morning. Playing truth or dare. And making a story starting " Saya Sebuah Pencil". I swear to god it was so funny. Everyone had to say like 3 words and make it into a story. It was the most sickest story, where the pencil had actually been. Ewww. But that's Private & Confidential.

I guess i wrote more then enough. Not gonna write about what happen today. Totally regret what i did. Im sorry aunty. I didn't mean to make your house a place for that. Im so stupid. I should have went home. Seriously just stupid stupid stupid to the max. I should start changing, like seriously. Should start accepting the bloody fact. And everything else is not really fine. Im pissed off with someone but im not gonna show it. Its you and her problem now. I dont want to masuk campur anymore. Like seriously. No point. I just think that being drunk was not a bloody excuse. Thats all. Other then that, everything is good. =)

-Fallen Angel-

2008-10-17T19:57:00.002+08:00

Sad times we went through together.

What do i gotta do to make you want me?
What do i gotta do to make you care?
What do i do when lightning strikes me?
And to wake to find that you're not there.
What do i gotta do to be heard?
What do i say when its all over.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.
- Elton John -

Sorry, is all that you can say.
Years gone by and still,
Words dont come easily.
Like sorry. Like sorry.
You can say baby.
Baby can i hold you tonight?
Baby if i told you the right words?
Ooo, At the right time.
You'd be mine.
- Tracy Chapmon & Pavavotti -

Im sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back.
I love how you kissed.
I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go round
And i just want to say Im sorry.
- Buckcherry -

Tonight will be the night that i would fall for you
Over again. Dont make me change my mind
I won't live to see another day.
I swear its true.
Because a girl like you is impossible to find.
- Secondhand Serenade -

Im not the only going through problems. Should stop complaining and whining and just appreciate what i have. I have a school i go to. I have money. I have my ac clans. I have friends close by. I have a mother that loves me. I have someone that cares about me 100%. I have a petbrother that i look up to for anything. I have a father that supports me. I have a brain. I have all my body parts. I can see. I can walk. I can talk. I can hear. Yeah, i should start appreciating it. And no more me & you. You say you still love me and you dont want me to leave you. Yet you are leaving me and ignoring me. That's the most matured thing to do huh? Oh well. Its your choice. Dont start crying when the times comes. Im done baby. Im really just D-O-N-E